The Daily Confusion: Your guide to REX

Aug. 22, 2014

Friday,
August 22, 2014

09:00

09:30—EAsT camPUS

when it’s inspected, maybe we want more than one person awake that day

10:00

10:34—EAsT camPUS

i got this in kentucky, in a store that was called “party city” “so not like the normal party city” “like a better version of the normal party city?” “like a party city that’s a liquor store”

10:50—EAsT camPUS

“i emailed the fbi this morning, i don’t know about you”

11:00

11:28—EAsT camPUS

should we just start complaining? there’s certainly a lot to complain about

12:00

12:01—EAsT camPUS

build some highway overpasses

12:39—EAsT camPUS

one inch bolts

13:00

13:15—EAsT camPUS

my complaint is the freezy pops won’t goddamn freeze

13:45—EAsT camPUS

did you break the freezer yet? yeah it refridgerates

14:00

14:11—EAsT camPUS

she did not invite me to her house, but she was very glad to see us. “so by bonded...” “you mean over the swingset”

15:00

15:29—EAsT camPUS

will trade 55 gallon flame retardant for lube

16:00

16:12—EAsT camPUS

he is literally stepping stoning us

17:00

17:49—EAsT camPUS

all students must be equipped with a one inch bolt at all times

18:00

18:19—EAsT camPUS

it’s transparent, smells like nothing, and might be water

18:35—EAsT camPUS

“maybe we bought 2000 dollars of water”

19:00

19:10—EAsT camPUS

as long as less than three people get mono...

20:00

20:59—EAsT camPUS

“meet me in 35-4 women’s bathroom STOP bring hard hats STOP”

21:00

21:00—Burton Conner

Moat Watch: Come stare at the moat in Kresge. It’s our only body of water (minus the river), and that deserves looking at. Speeches on its greatness will be delivered.

21:01—EAsT camPUS

so then we took a selfie of us in a bathroom

Saturday,
August 23, 2014

02:00

02:02—EAsT camPUS

she showed up in proper PPE-- and a bra

02:59—EAsT camPUS

we have the technology #thankyouDSL

03:00

03:17—Random Hall

RHOP: Random House of Pancakes! Is it early, or is it late? All we know is that we have delicious pancakes to feed you.

09:00

09:00—Burton Conner

Run With Me: Just keep running. Just keep running. Just keep running, running, running. What do we do? We run. Run. For ~3 miles.

10:00

10:00—Maseeh Hall

We’ll help move all your stuff into your new dorm room =)”

10:02—EAsT camPUS

can we talk about the homeless guy who’s now building in our courtyard

11:00

11:47—EAsT camPUS

by tuesday-- it’s like friday at this point

12:00

12:07—EAsT camPUS

hey, i saw this poster in the infinite in like may, roller coasters weeee!!!

12:49—EAsT camPUS

it was sharpie handwritten-- i called the number on it, i got him, i explained the situation, he said “im your man”

13:00

13:13—EAsT camPUS

now he has a fake name and is somehow a roller coaster engineer, which i’m pretty sure isn’t a profession

13:17—Random Hall

Dumpling Hylomorphisms: Anamorphism -- the building up of a structure. Catamorphism: the consumption of a structure. Hylomorphism -- both an anamorphism and a catamorphism. Come learn the basic fold, or just perform a metabolic reduction on food.

13:59—EAsT camPUS

and if you search his name you get a wanted criminal

14:00

14:00—MacGregor

Pick-up Sports: Play with our balls! We have basketballs, footballs, soccer balls, and frisbee(ball)s.

14:00—Burton Conner

Relive your childhood PE days, or just make a huge mess tossing toilet paper around!

14:00—Burton Conner

Dance Central: I like to move it, move it. You like to move it, move it. We like to move it, move it. Burton Conner likes to MOVE IT!

14:29—EAsT camPUS

but he has a very very detailed resume on linkedin

15:00

15:00—Burton Conner

Edible Board Games: Come play and eat Chocolate Chess, Banana-Grahams, Settlers of Catan Pizza, and more!

16:00

16:00—MacGregor

Play with Wood: Get an early start on your Course 1/2/4/11 aspirations

16:00—Simmons Hall

Chalking: Chalking is a Simmons tradition, with chalk-able surfaces all over the entire dorm. Come join us decorate everywhere!

16:00—Simmons Hall

Sword Fights: Medieval tournament with foam swords. Rules simple. Fence until ‘ARHGHHGH’. Bloody, yes, only finest warriors for Simmons. Or chill and nom ice cream. All OK. GRRRAHHHHRGGG

16:00—Simmons Hall

Ice Cream!!!: Om nom. Nom nom. Yum. Pass the sprinkles.

16:17—Random Hall

The Clam Olympics: The ancient tradition of the Olympics began with the Greeks. This year the Olympics are being held in Random Hall. Come compete in the Clam Olympics and attempt to bring home a medal! We’re totally licensed by the IOC.

16:47—Random Hall

DDR 2048: 1024, 512, 256, 128... What’s better than 2048? 2048 with DDR pads! Race against your friends to make the biggest number in your favorite tile-merging puzzle game, now with 100% more footwork.

16:48—EAsT camPUS

“maybe he just made the whole thing up” “he did a very good job”

17:00

17:00—Next House

Next Make Binary Clocks: Get nerd cred by soldering your own digital clock. Not just any clock - one that tells time in binary. No experience with soldering or reading binary required - we’ll teach you.

17:00—Simmons Hall

Grill, Fill, and Chill: Get some protein after that helzadope sword fight you just had, or join us for the first time to eat delectable burgers (vegetarian options available). Meet us on the super huge and totally functional stairs in front of Simmons.

17:00—Burton Conner

Make Your Own Froyo: But actually...

17:18—EAsT camPUS

the only place that will not turn them down will be a wanted criminal under a false name: here’s to midlife crises

17:30—MacGregor

Blanket Fort Engineering: Conastruction of a softer nature.

18:00

18:00—Next House

Grilled Cheese Factory: Hungry after a long day of travel? Come have a bite to eat and meet your new neighbors! Nexties are gloriously good at making Grilled Cheese.

18:17—Random Hall

Psi Phi Short Stories: Come enjoy science fiction short stories with awesome people! Have requests in mind, or just be ready to be introduced to new authors and stories.

18:29—EAsT camPUS

have we heard from him since? no

18:30—Burton Conner

Mafia: Come play Mafia the classic game of deception. No prior experience lying required!

19:00

19:00—Next House

TFL Movie Marathon: Exactly what it says on the tin. We have a large selection of movies, and an even larger TV and sound system, so come relax at Next House!

19:00—Maseeh Hall

Show off your sleuthing skills with a high stakes* game of mafia. Snacks provided!

19:00—MacGregor

Dessert for Days: Get your blood sugar high for the rest of REX with chocolate fondue, brownies, and more.

19:03—EAsT camPUS

i’m betting it’s secretly steve altes #stevealtes2014

19:17—Random Hall

Epic Mealtime of Destiny: Sauce Boss? Check. Bacon strips? Check. Epic levels of Epic? Check. Come down to prepare the most gargantuan dessert you’ve ever feasted upon. Oh yes, there will be bacon.

20:00

20:17—Random Hall

Chemistry and Cake: Cake is yummy. Chemistry is fun. Come eat cake and learn chemistry and about course 5!

20:29—EAsT camPUS

will you toss me the jar of cherries and the chopstick

20:30—Burton Conner

Harry Potter Erotic Fan Fiction: “I feel like a Hungarian Horntail” Neville whispered into Hermione’s ear “And I need to find a cave to...”

20:30—MacGregor

Sticky S’mores: Hot sticky fun with way too many marshmallows. Grab some then go watch a movie!

21:00

21:00—MacGregor

Must See Movies: Watch all the movies you ought to have seen already. With blankets and snacks!

21:16—EAsT camPUS

the fact that someone said oh yeah the homeless guy in our courtyard and I thought of a different homeless guy

21:17—Random Hall

Storytime with Cruft: “Cruft, n.: (1) An old piece of computer equipment, possibly useless, that keeps hanging around. (2) An old alum.” Come hear stories from back in the day, when things were more hardcore.

21:32—EAsT camPUS

we can take him off the list, we can’t take him off the hall

21:59—EAsT camPUS

so what about this homeless kid? he’s doing quite a bit of work.*

22:00

22:00—Burton Conner

Wholock Marathon:Come chill in the floor lounge and enjoy a night full of fabulously snarky British TV.

22:00—Maseeh Hall

Wanna explore a bit of the Boston night? Join us in the Maseeh lobby and we’ll show you some of the city. Frozen yogurt the size of your face included!

22:00—Simmons Hall

Wub Wub and Wings: Play Super Smash Bros, eat some wings, and listen to Dubstep. Sounds like a great night.

22:00—Simmons Hall

Sporcle Party: Because we all know we want to.

22:03—EAsT camPUS

does the cat have rabies? the cat or duncan?

22:39—EAsT camPUS

wean the cat off human blood

22:52—EAsT camPUS

wait another homeless guy in our courtyard?? we have multiple

23:00

23:02—EAsT camPUS

it’s like star trek meets threesomes

23:14—EAsT camPUS

i had been sh!t-faced all day. “she’s not winking in these ones...”

23:17—Random Hall

Harry Potter and the Headless Weasleys: New magic. Headless Ron. Horrified Harry. Rising darkness. Join us as we rewrite that happy but overly sentimental epilogue of the super-epic Harry Potter series.

23:30—Burton Conner

BC BBQ: Enjoy burgers and snacks while chatting with real-life BC residents about the dorm.

23:34—EAsT camPUS

like two weeks ago i made like a post on tumblr it was like some dumb shit

23:57—EAsT camPUS

i’m so glad that some video game didn’t like cave to pressure and like include female characters

Sunday,
August 24, 2014

00:00

00:00—Next House

Next Hoenn: Calling all Pokemon trainers! Team Magma and Team Aqua are recruiting! Sign up at bit.ly/nextmagma or bit.ly/nextaqua, and bring a QR Code scanner to Next House. There are 202 Hoenn Pokemon out and about; can you catch em all?

01:00

01:01—EAsT camPUS

can we talk about parents using the card readers “FINGER PRINT READER” their kids like “no it’s my finger prints”

01:21—EAsT camPUS

It’s an IRIS SCANNER

03:00

03:01—EAsT camPUS

then we need someone at desk to buzz them in right then INTERCOM CAMERA

03:03—EAsT camPUS

wrestle in ramen, cooked in flame retardant

03:12—EAsT camPUS

“the most expensive water ever” “resell it as holy water”

03:17—Random Hall

RHOP: Random House of Pancakes. Why are we up this late? To feed you pancakes of course! Pancakes pancakes pancakes pancakes pancakes pancakes pancakes. Wow, pancakes is a really weird looking word.

04:00

04:05—EAsT camPUS

on the phone with home depot, your total is 4000

08:00

08:00—Simmons Hall

Welcome Breakfast: Most important meal of the day, serving it up....Simmons’s way!

08:30—Next House

Next Breakfast: To-go breakfast items will be available in the lobby. Start your day right! Dino Fact of the Day: A T-rex could swallow up to 500 pounds of meat in one bite.

09:00

09:00—Simmons Hall

Simmons Build: Build stuff at Simmons. It’ll be a blast! (Help us prepare for the water war, or just build to your heart’s content.)

09:00—Burton Conner

Run With Me: Just keep running. Just keep running. Just keep running, running, running. What do we do? We run. Run. For ~3 miles.

09:30—MacGregor

Flapjack Festival: Pancakes hot off the griddle, along with bacon, fruit, candy, and whipped cream. Heck, eat them all at the same time!

10:00

10:00—Maseeh Hall

We’ll help move all your stuff into your new dorm room =)

10:00—Simmons Hall

Cooking with Kate: Let your culinary side loose! Kate needs some sous-chefs to help her make some awesome food!

10:31—EAsT camPUS

i looked it up with google-- thanks google

10:47—Random Hall

Ceiling Tile Painting: Fancy yourself the next Michelangelo? But don’t want to lie on your back while painting the Sistine Chapel? Come leave your mark on Random’s ceiling instead!

11:00

11:07—EAsT camPUS

she says, there’s a hundred names here and starts listing them-- first names: steve “steve?” steve l. e. e. b.

11:30—Burton Conner

BC BBQ: Enjoy burgers and snacks while chatting with real-life BC residents about the dorm.

11:30—MacGregor

Dye All The Things: Bleach and dye. Rinse and repeat. Learn how to bleach t-shirts with custom designs and let us dye your hair crazy colors.

11:30—Next House

Herbivores & Carnivores: We are combining Next’s legendary vegetarian banquet with a MEAT-A-PALOOZA. Come rep your species! (Omnivores also welcome)

11:32—EAsT camPUS

YES STEVE, send our deductible to him

11:39—EAsT camPUS

can you dig it

12:00

12:00—Next House

The Next Big Thing: Sneak Preview!

12:00—Simmons Hall

Simmons Build: Trojan ducks and chariots. While supplies last. (We’re entering the war in style; come help us build.)

12:00—Simmons Hall

Eating with Kate: Well, now we have all this food. Come help us eat it!

12:04—EAsT camPUS

can we talk about the woman at home depot who recognizes me “oh i have that but with Kappy’s”

12:17—Random Hall

How to Not Starve: Pasta-related Things: Rice, pasta, ramen... boring, bland, staple starches. Or are they? Learn how not to starve by making something in a pot that doesn’t taste like cardboard.

12:30—Next House

Next Sustain Tree-Climbing Tours: See campus from the treetops! Climb trees from outside Building 6 to Next House and talk about sustainability (and anything else) with a friendly Next Sustain guide.

12:47—Random Hall

Boffing on the Roofdeck: Arm yourself with a weapon wrought of foam and tape, and strike with the fury of a thousand tigers! FOR THE GLORY OF RANDOM HALL!

13:00

13:00—Simmons Hall

Game Night: What’s a better time to have game night than in the middle of the day? Come join some upperclassmen for awesome playground games!

13:00—New House

Snowball Fight: Living on the East Coast for the first time and excited for the snow? You don’t have to wait till winter! Come experience your first snowball fight in Cambridge! (Snow will actually be flour)

13:00—Baker House

Baker House tours! Leaving the lobby every 30 minutes until 5pm.

13:12—EAsT camPUS

he had all these funfacts about beavers

13:17—Random Hall

Karaok-tea: Come sing, listen, or just snack and enjoy tea on Loop at our karaoke event!

13:47—Random Hall

Liquid Nitrogen Truffles: Tired of boring old chocolate? Come to Random Hall and try our truffles with flavors ranging from raspberry to pink lemonade to wasabi. That still too boring for you? Then freeze your truffles in liquid nitrogen!

14:00

14:00—McCormick Hall

Picnic: Grab some watermelon and lemonade and relive your childhood with hopscotch, football, or frisbee!

14:00—Burton Conner

Dance Central: I like to move it, move it. You like to move it, move it. We like to move it, move it. Burton Conner likes to MOVE IT!

14:12—EAsT camPUS

beaver facts from home depot chris: that would be such a good twitter 1. i got bit by one last week 2. sometimes their teeth are orange

14:30—MacGregor

Carnivale: Cotton candy, hot dogs and burgers, a dunk tank, a bouncy castle, and dogs. If there were any more things in this event, well, we’d be out of money.

14:47—Random Hall

Physics and Coffee: Our theory holds that in a physics lecture, students exist in the lowest energy state. However, bombardment by a caffeine ray with stimulation by advanced physics topics causes excitation. Come test our thoery and enjoy caffeine, sweets, and physics.

15:00

15:00—Simmons Hall

Otter Pops: Biatches, we have freezepops.

15:00—Simmons Hall

Frisbee: Stretch your legs after a long flight (or a not so long drive) to MIT - and meet some new friends!

15:19—EAsT camPUS

we haven’t had a capped freshman in like two years, i think

15:30—Burton Conner

Giant Snickers Bar: Let’s make a giant snickers bar. And then eat it.

16:00

16:00—Next House

Next Service Cookies for Charity: C is for Cookie, is that good enough for you? It’s good enough for NextService! We will be baking cookies and donating them to a homeless shelter for their Sunday night dessert. There will be enough for anyone that comes to help, too!

16:00—Next House

Call of Duty: Dorm Warfare: [Radio] Nerf gun ready. Two targets ahead, pick one, I’ll take out the other. Target eliminated. This is a live action video game. This is also a dorm tour. Come and have fun as you battle through the building of Next House.

16:20—Random Hall

Clam Bake: Grab your favorite pot and satisfy your munchies on Clam. We’ve got the brownies, the hash and more!

16:28—EAsT camPUS

we are consistent in our absence

16:30—Burton Conner

Rage Against The Machine: technology while jamming to the Geto Boys? Now is your chance to violently smash computers, TV’s, and any other old stuff that we can find. Perfect for releiving stress, getting big, or doing your part to prevent the impending robot apocalypse.

17:00

17:00—Simmons Hall

Simmons Build: There’s a lot of times this event shows up. (Come build stuff!)

17:00—Simmons Hall

Grill, Fill, and Chill (with Will!): Same thing (burgers). Same place (the super huge and totally functional stairs).

17:00—McCormick Hall

Taste of Cambridge: Try a variety of foods from local restaurants. We’ll have Indian, Italian, Chinese, and more!

17:17—Random Hall

The Face-Off: Think your face is funnier than the rest? Do you want to prove that you can make the best faces this side of the Mississippi? You’ll face off against other freshmen, and one of you will be judged the winner.

17:30—Burton Conner

Giant Paper Airplane Drop: Fold some paper airplanes and we’ll launch them all at once from the BC penthouse.

17:55—EAsT camPUS

“if two people have ideas, we should use both” okay, way to waste your vote

18:00

18:07—EAsT camPUS

did you mean to remove everyone from the rush list? yep.

18:59—EAsT camPUS

*and then i removed everyone from just-a-little-bit-of-parallel so they were responding to just me-- haha sorry sucker. better luck next year

19:00

19:01—EAsT camPUS

i hate east campus so much sometimes. what is wrong with us?

19:30—Simmons Hall

Scavenger Hunt: Come enjoy a huge scavenger hunt through a building that makes no logical sense.

19:30—Senior Haus

BBQ And Tireswinging

19:30—New House

Gaming & Nail Polish: Challenge Desmondites in Super Smash Bros. or debate the merits of your favorite game. Want to also have nice-colored nails while using the controllers? We’ll also have our public collection of polish available for your use if you so desire!

19:30—Simmons Hall

Simmons Build: Cause we need help when we screw up. (Aren’t the wheels supposed to go underneath the chariot?)

19:30—MacGregor

Liquid N2: -200°C: Cold as hell! Try the frozen candy bars, play with balloons, and smash things (preferably non-living)you don’t like.

19:32—EAsT camPUS

it’s just not hard to be a reasonable person

19:45—Next House

Capture the Cardboard: Nerf guns! Chaos! What more could you want?

20:00

20:00—New House

Origami + Make Your own Cookies: We have paper, cookies, and fresh fruit to combat your sugar overload! Come fold anything from a paper airplane to a modular piece to a dragon!

20:00—Maseeh Hall

Too cool for Apples to Apples? We got you. Cards Against Humanity. Come play.

20:00—Next House

Make-Your-Own Pizza: You make it, we bake it, you eat it.

20:00—McCormick Hall

Fondue!: Melted chocolate and plenty of fruit and sweets to dip, what’s not to like? Come check out the Boston skyline from our penthouse at our famous fondue night!

20:17—EAsT camPUS

i would rather pay 15 dollars to never see any of these on a shirt

20:17—Random Hall

Math and Tea: Math is beautiful, cookies are sweet, tea is tasty, and S_3 acts on these statements in a non-trivial way: come enjoy math, tea, and cookies with us.

20:17—Random Hall

Applied Knot Theory: An introduction to the art of tying knots and people in practical and ornamental ways. Our knowledge of knots is not for naught. I can knot understand how anyone could knot be excited.

20:30—Burton Conner

Resistance: You’ve made some friends, but are they trustworthy? Exercise your shady side while playing this mafia-like strategy game.

20:47—Random Hall

Bonfire Jazz Lounge: There will be jazz. Classy jazz. There will be cheese. Fancy cheese. What more could you want?

21:00

21:00—Simmons Hall

Ice Cream Sandwiches: Om nom nom.

21:00—Simmons Hall

Board Games: Meet some of your new classmates through friendly competition! There will be games and more ice cream sandwiches than you’ve ever seen before. Play games and chat with your fellow MIT students. Meet us in our Dining Hall.

21:00—La Maison Française

We like games. You like games. Come play games! Board games, card games, video games. All of them are games. We have them. Milkshakes, smoothies, and cookies are not games. We have them anyway!

21:00—Burton Conner

Pole Dancing

21:12—EAsT camPUS

i neglected to cast my ballot into the pointless poll. “that’s okay, fascism worked out” “we were expecting it to be eastern european democracy”

21:47—Random Hall

Settlers of Catan: Come play (almost) life-sized Settlers of Catan! Hoard (and eat) marshmallow “sheep,” pretzel “wheat,” oreo “iron,” and graham-cracker “bricks”! Trade them with your neighbors or foil their plans. Build roads, villages, and cities!

22:00

22:00—Next House

22:00—MacGregor

F.E.A.R.: Halloween is 2 months early. Eat candy and watch scary horror games in the dark.

22:00—Senior Haus

Philosophy and Coffee

22:00—New House

PowerPoint Karaoke: Remember that one time you had that presentation due NEXT PERIOD and threw together random pictures on a PowerPoint and presented it to a room full of people? Experience PowerPoint Karaoke, which has you give a presentation they’ve never seen bef

22:56—EAsT camPUS

it was like bullshit art phrases like “je ne sais quoi” and “pokemon”

23:00

23:00—Maseeh Hall

Chipotle burritos. Come hungry.

23:00—Next House

Karaoke & Boba: Boba! Karaoke! Nuff’ said.

23:17—Random Hall

Rocky Horrible’s Singalong Blog: Have beloved memories of Dr. Horrible? Not after this event, you won’t. Come join us in yelling obscenities at a perfectly nice Sing-Along Blog that has done absolutely nothing to deserve it.

23:58—EAsT camPUS

i’m sorry that you’ll never be 21

Monday,
August 25, 2014

00:00

00:00—Next House

00:00—Burton Conner

Slenderman: He’s coming for you... A scary live-action game based on the popular horror video game.

00:00—Senior Haus

Smoke Rings and Other Things

00:01—EAsT camPUS

he asked me what year i was born with and i answered and he said whoa WHOA whoa

01:00

01:12—EAsT camPUS

we figured out the sign is hung at eye level “i think it really sums up east campus”

02:00

02:05—EAsT camPUS

“we follow through with our promises” east campus is a place of dignity

03:00

03:59—EAsT camPUS

we will remove the cockroaches when you do

08:00

08:00—Simmons Hall

Breakfast Dinner: Stayed up all night? It’s time to break the fast since we stopped eating ice cream sandwiches at 3AM. Join us for breakfast! (or dinner!)

08:00—New House

Continental Breakfast: Looking for breakfast or a bedtime snack? Craving delicious smoothies and waffles? Not enough bacon in your diet? The friendly residents of New House will be serving up breakfast, so come get some!

09:00

09:00—Maseeh Hall

Ready for a day of REX? Come stop by the castle for a breakfast of bagels, pastries, and fruit before you head out!

09:30—Next House

Next Breakfast: To-go breakfast items will be available in the lobby. Start your day right! Dino Fact of the Day: Mary Anning, a 19th century palaeontologist, survived being struck by lightning at 15 months old, and was revived in a bath of hot water.

09:30—Burton Conner

IATFB: “I Ate This eFfin Breakfast” and/or “I Assembled This Fantastic Breakfast”

10:00

10:59—EAsT camPUS

the walker airspace is a no-fly zone

10:59—MacGregor

Official Assembly TM: This is a mandatory event that you definitely have to go to, if you get what I mean.

11:00

11:01—EAsT camPUS

are they on hiatus, or closed for good? yes.

12:00

12:09—EAsT camPUS

prologue: but i’m paying 2000 dollars, so then she goes into joe’s office anyway

12:30—Simmons Hall

World Famous Housemaster Break: Join us for a Simmons tradition. Chat with our residents and Housemasters while enjoying John’s famous smoothies and Ellen’s world-renowned pancakes. Seriously, you have never had a smoothie this good.

12:59—EAsT camPUS

the dark presence of robj haunts us all at night

13:00

13:14—EAsT camPUS

i can register you one party “yes, but we would like to have 13 parties”

14:00

14:00—Simmons Hall

Shield Painting: Along with making our glorious flags, we also need to decorate our shields. Paint some shields with us!

14:00—Burton Conner

Henna Tattoos: Afraid of the heavy metal in prison tattoos or just never been to prison? Not quite sure that you want that butterfly tattoo permanantly etched on your skin?

14:00—MacGregor

Water War: The Armament: You’ll need weapons if you’re going to fight. Craft your custom shields, swords and ranged weapons.

14:00—Simmons Hall

Flag Making: With the imminent water war tomorrow, we need to show our Simmons pride! Help us make a beautiful flag to represent our wonderful sponge.

14:00—Das Deutsche Haus

German Victory Pretzel Making: Come celebrate Germany’s World Cup win with some traditional German food and German music!

14:00—Senior Haus

Haus Tours

14:17—Random Hall

Liquid Nitrogen Ice Cream: Some possibilities (pick 3): I scream, you scream, we all scream for 77 Kelvins. Served steaming cold. Some like it hot; some like it sub-zero. Sure you’ve had ice cream before. But now you’re at MIT. It’s time for the real stuff.

14:39—EAsT camPUS

are they mono-oranges?

15:00

15:00—Senior Haus

BarbieQ

15:00—Burton Conner

Tea and Tattoos: You are cordially invited to the quintessential British tradition of enjoying tea in the odd hours between dinner and supper. Did we mention we’ll have tattoos?

15:01—EAsT camPUS

they suggest that he should take more responsibility “whoa WHOA whoa whoa”

15:17—Random Hall

CS and Juice: Bobby is at Shaw’s, picking the optimal set of juices. He can’t buy pomegranate juice without something sweeter to mix it with, but if he uses orange juice, he won’t buy orange mango as well...uh oh. Bobby smells a boolean satisfiability problem to solve.

15:30—Next House

BEWARE THE ICE AGE: Liquid Nitrogen Ice Cream

15:30—MacGregor

La Crêperie: Indulge in hazelnut wonder of Nutella, fruit, and butter. Made to order- come early, the line is always long

16:00

16:00—Burton Conner

Miracle Berries: A secret wonder of the world for centuries, Miracle Berries make sour and bitter foods taste sweet. We’ll have limes, grapefruit, hot sauce, mustard and all sorts of other food for your “flavor trip”. No harmful side effects (other than wanting more).

16:00—McCormick Hall

Ice Cream Extravaganza: Cool down with your favorite ice cream and our famous homemade fudge!

16:00—Senior Haus

Story Time

16:00—McCormick Hall

Playground Games: Come draw with sidewalk chalk, throw around a frisbee, or just lay in the grass and cloud watch!

16:00—Simmons Hall

Boomerang Ultimate: Instead of a Frisbee, we have boomerangs. Will it work? We can’t quite remember. But don’t worry, it’ll come back to us.

16:17—Random Hall

Duct Tape Construction!: What can you use to close an open wound? Duct tape! What’s great when your shoe starts falling apart? Duct tape! What comes in many colors and can be used to create something entirely new? Duct tape!

16:20—EAsT camPUS

it’s definitely because we show up dressed like heathens NAKED WATER WAR

17:00

17:02—EAsT camPUS

can we fill water balloons with fire retardant “just like a couple so it’s like roulette”

18:00

18:09—EAsT camPUS

could you not talk about facebook for a day? is it possible? could it happen? “yes. yesterday.”

18:30—Burton Conner

Bananagrams and Banana Splits: Can you beat us in bananagrams? We think not. But come play with us anyways while eating banana splits!

18:30—iHouse

Barbecue Dinner

18:30—MacGregor

La La Luau: Eat tropical fruit and barbecue, get lei’d, and empty out an ice cream truck. Ahh, the nostalgia.

18:30—New House

Movie Night: Come relax, eat endless popcorn, and be entertained at House 2’s Monday Movie Night.

18:30—New House

Waffle S’mores and Smoothies!: Check out Desmond while munching on waffle s’mores! The best part: you can wash down the marshmallow and chocolate/nutella-y goodness with delicious fruit smoothies!

18:30—Simmons Hall

Terrace Picnic: Simmons has two beautiful terraces that overlook all of west campus. Let’s have a picnic up there and enjoy the view!

18:47—Random Hall

Roofdeck Barbecue: Meat! Ribs, sausage, burgers, and more! Come see the awesomeness of having one of the only roofdecks in Cambridge. Eat our delicious meat products and talk to our upperclassman about life at MIT. (Non-meat food also available.)

19:00

19:00—Next House

Next Code BattleBots: Mini AI Tournament: Come write your own AI and then enter your bot into our tournament. AI newbie? No problem! We’ll show you the ropes. Get ready to battle!

19:00—Simmons Hall

Simmons Build: Nothing’s better than building an oversized duck. (Quack!)

19:00—Next House

Next Big Cookout: While you’re not experiencing the wonder of the Next Big Thing, grab some delicious food (straight off the barby!) and try some fun activities with our student groups!

19:00—La Maison Française

Mangez comme les français (Eat like the French): Dînez au restaurant français! Come experience the finest dining west of Mass Ave. Cooking starts at 4pm if you fancy yourself a chef (no cooking experience or French actually required). Dinner is served at 7. Bon appétit!

19:00—Next House

THE NEXT BIG THING: Next Big Inception: BWAAAAHM. BWAAAAHM. You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.

19:15—EAsT camPUS

they taped the key onto the door

20:00

20:00—Burton Conner

Cards Against Humanity: Come munch on free food and play the party game for horrible people.

20:00—Maseeh Hall

Come play Mario Kart 8 and check out Maseeh’s Media Room. We have snacks, games and some huge bean bags!

20:00—New House

TexMex Dinner Feast: Have you ever wanted to be a Chipotle employee for a day? Probably not but you should come BYOB (build your own burrito) anyways! Indulge in your favorite American-Mexican food that you, yourself have put together.

20:00—McCormick Hall

Apples and Advice: Questions or concerns about what to expect for freshman year and beyond? Come talk to McCormick residents about their experiences in McCormick and at MIT. We will also have delicious and fresh fruits and veggies!

20:00—Simmons Hall

Real Talk: Talk to Simmons residents about college life! We’ve chosen a variety of student panelists to answer your questions honestly about the next four years. We’re open to anything - so ask away (but don’t ask Eli about the sink...) Students only!

20:17—Random Hall

Cookies and Smut: Listen to the finest Viking romance novels and eat delicious warm chocolate chip cookies. Feel the horriblehorriblehorrible sensation of rivulets of chocolate dripping down your throat and discover Thor’s magnificent hammer!

20:17—Random Hall

Random Chess: Do you like chess? Do want to learn how to make chess even more awesome? Play random chess, bughouse chess, suicide chess, bidding chess, monster chess, or AnyInterestingIdeaThatYouMayHave chess.

20:19—EAsT camPUS

all i was asking for was a receipt. that’s all i needed. “we’re not sure if we have time to do that right now” “it’s been three months, please can i pay you” and then we get the receipt and it it’s like shittily done wordart

20:30—iHouse

Trip to Pinkberry in Boston: Meet in New House!

21:00

21:00—McCormick Hall

Game Night: We’ll have everything from trivia to mafia to taboo and more!

21:00—MacGregor

Smash for Cash and Other Games: Play SSB Melee, Mario Kart, and DDR for phat prizes. If you’re old-school, then come play Settlers of Catan, Cards against Humanity, or whatever else we have. Pizza, Doritos, and Mountain Dew because gaming food.

21:00—Senior Haus

Slamming Erotic Poetry

21:00—Das Deutsche Haus

Boba Disney Movie Night: Come join German House to watch your favorite Disney movies and make your own bubble tea.

21:00—Maseeh Hall

Come to our beautiful courtyard and use our grills to make s’mores, grilled cheese, ice cream sandwiches, grilled cookie dough, grilled pineapple,snickers, grilled all things and everything. Well, perhaps just a few more things, but they’re all delicious! WE HAVE NUTELLA

21:05—EAsT camPUS

was it done in sharpie?

21:17—Random Hall

Random Shirt Making: Ever wondered how companies printed shirts? Come make your very own Random REX shirt! Shirts, paints and silkscreen provided.

21:30—La Maison Française

Alors on Danse: You bring the class, we’ll bring the salsa. Come eat delicious foods from La Maison and La Casa, and then dance the night away! There will be Latin, French pop, Swing, chips, salsa, pastries, (non-alcoholic) sparkles, and more!

21:30—Burton Conner

Pixar Movie Marathon: Revert back to your childhood! Watch your favorite Pixar movies with us.

21:47—Random Hall

Chainmail: Having problems being woken up at night by swordsmen breaking down your door? Well, you’ll be able to sleep easy after this event; come learn to make armor worthy of the thirteenth century! Also suitable for badass jewelry.

22:00

22:00—Simmons Hall

Sporcle Party: Because the typist has not been screamed at enough.

22:00—Baker House

Baker Skyline: Come dive into Orientation with the largest party of REX at the most social dorm on campus! Over 600 people attended last year!

22:00—New House

Video Games & Junk Food: Video Games. Junk Food. Video Games AND Junk Food.

22:00—Simmons Hall

Top of the Sponge: Raise the roof /on/ the roof of Simmons Hall! Party it up as you break it down with new friends against the backdrop of the MIT campus and Boston skyline. Learn some schmancy swing while you snap up hand-crafted hors d’oeuvres and light up the night with

22:30—Burton Conner

Puzzle Hunt: Come get ready for Mystery Hunt and solve a puzzle hunt, written especially for MIT prefrosh!

22:34—EAsT camPUS

we’ll have them 6 months from now, after we’re back from our brief hiatus “we’re taking time off for burning man”

23:00

23:00—Next House

Midnight Pancakes: Now that you’ve taken the Math Diagnostic, see if you can pass our practical physics exam. Catch some flying pancakes flipped hot off the griddle, and celebrate by decorating them with chocolate chips, whipped cream, and more!

23:17—Random Hall

Battleship Twister: Blue 4! Red 2! You sunk a frosh! Play a game of battleship where you’re the ships and the grid is a twister board.

23:30—Senior Haus

Horror in 433

23:47—Random Hall

Mario Kart: Come play Mario Kart 8! It’s shiny!

23:59—EAsT camPUS

the east campus shopping cart will be able to withstand 600 pounds of steel

Tuesday,
August 26, 2014

00:00

00:00—Next House

00:00—Burton Conner

Midnight Ultimate Frisbee: Midnight. Ultimate. Frisbee. It’s not rocket science.

01:00

01:30—Senior Haus

Cum eat us out

03:00

03:17—Random Hall

RHOP: Random House of Pancakes: I’m a delicious warm pancake smothered in maple syrup. Bite me. We have almost as many pancakes as the International House of Pancakes, and you don’t have to drive to get here. See how much maple syrup you can fit on one plate.

04:00

04:01—EAsT camPUS

#actually a supervillian origin story: that’s how the green man was born

04:36—EAsT camPUS

they don’t even do packages now? “yeah we just throw them all. hope you find it!”

05:00

05:41—EAsT camPUS

whoa WHOA whoa whoa on the go!

06:00

06:23—EAsT camPUS

i went to that jewish camp and then i went to a different jewish camp for a few years. whoa WHOA whoa.

08:00

08:00—New House

08:00—Simmons Hall

Getting out of Bed is Hard: But it’s much easier with a delicious breakfast! Come eat more breakfast!

09:00

09:00—Simmons Hall

Simmons Build: Preparing for war! We’ll need help and luck. (BYO dramatic music.)

09:15—EAsT camPUS

how did you find this farm? “there was a great craigslist ad...”

09:29—EAsT camPUS

Idiosyncratic Systematic

09:30—La Maison Française

Telephone Pictionary: Start with a phrase, draw some pictures, and end up with a fun game for everyone! Get to know the LMF residents and your fellow classmates through this hilarious game.

09:30—Burton Conner

Burton Conner Breakfast: The most wonderful meal of the day. Because waffles. And eggs. And baaaaacon.

09:30—McCormick Hall

Running & Breakfast: Morning bridge loop (a popular route for runners) led by McCormick residents for the first hour. Whether you’re looking for a morning workout or a scenic jog, we’ll have a group for you! Breakfast available starting at 10:00.

09:30—Next House

Next Breakfast: To-go breakfast items will be available in the lobby. Start your day right! Dino Fact of the Day: The first officially named dinosaur was the Megalosaurus, which was named in 1824.

09:30—MacGregor

Fakebreast: Err, breakfast. You know, toast, pancakes, cereal.

10:00

10:00—Senior Haus

Showside Brunch

10:06—EAsT camPUS

I was pitching my tent... “you were pitching your tent? Oh, LITERALLY.”

10:17—Random Hall

Learn How to Zephyr: In the 80s, the ancient days before TCP, MIT students had an older, more h4rdk0r3 chat client: Zephyr. Come get set up and talk to each other through Random Hall’s chat client of choice!

10:29—EAsT camPUS

whoa WHOA whoa means “look at that giant ass” in some languages

11:00

11:03—EAsT camPUS

16 is like-- lower than that and I’ve had sex with, like, a chicken

12:00

12:30—Burton Conner

Smoothies and Chilling: Hang out and catch a break from the heat with some smoothies.

12:30—Simmons Hall

Simmons Build: Last minute preparations, time to fix everything. (Quick, where’s the duct tape?)

12:30—Simmons Hall

Pizza Bagels: Come enjoy some free lunch by making your own bagel pizza with delectable toppings. You should probably eat said pizza bagels as well.

12:30—Burton Conner

Build for Water Wars!!: Help us prepare for our attempt to stave off the Eastern Barbarians!

12:30—Next House

THE NEXT BIG THING: Next Big Inception: BWAAAAHM. BWAAAAHM. BWAAAAHM. You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.

12:30—La Maison Française

Pretzels and Pastries: Craving something savory? Something sweet? How about both? The dough is ready! Come to French House to make pretzels and pastries with us!

12:30—MacGregor

“Mexican” Food: Join us for a culturally appropriated lunch of things that have sour cream and guacamole. (Tacos, burritos, quesadillas, nachos?)

12:30—Maseeh Hall

Make art for your new home! Unleash your creative spirit on canvas and cookies. Learn about art opportunities at MIT!

12:47—Random Hall

Around the World with Random: “I’ve been everywhere man, I’ve been everywhere...” and we’ve got the food to prove it! Come enjoy some cultural cuisine with Randomites from around the globe.

13:00

13:00—New House

Nerf War: Battle of Champions: Do you have what it takes? Nerf guns provided. BYOC (bring your own courage).

13:00—La Casa

Carne Asada: Join us in our traditional cookout. Eat carne asada and other Hispanic dishes with la familia. Learn about Spanish House and its residents cultures while enjoying a good meal.

13:00—New House

Dance Dance: Dance Dance Dance Dance Dance! Come in and play Dance Central for cool prizes!

13:00—Next House

Trebuchet Testing: So we built a Trebuchet for the Water War. Launch stuff comically far with us!

13:00—Burton Conner

Jello Wrestling: We all know you’ve been trying real hard over the summer to get that kick ass beach bod. And don’t lie - you’ve been dying to show it off. The high school days of being the ugly duckling are over. Strip down to your undergarments and exert your physical domi

13:00—New House

Smoothigami: What happens when you mix smoothies and origami? You get...wet sticky paper. Luckily, we’re not doing that. We have state of the art cups that are specifically designed to keep smoothies out of your origami.

13:00—McCormick Hall

Smoothies: We’ve raided Haymarket so we’ve got tons of fruit and yogurt. Come show us your mad blending skills by designing your own concoction.

13:00—Next House

Next Bake Dinosaur Cookies: Some say that a huge asteroid caused massive extinction! That type of heat would definitely explain why these cookie doughnosaurs turned into cookie dinosaurs. Frost them, then eat them!

13:17—Random Hall

Bubbles in the Random Bubble: They say you shouldn’t stay too long in the MIT bubble, but nobody said anything about the Random bubble. Come blow bubbles in our very own home-constructed inflatable room! There will be bubblegum and bubblegum pop.

13:30—Simmons Hall

CTF: Join us for the legendary game of Capture the Flag inside the legendary building where floors don’t connect and stairwells skip floors. It’s never been easier to get lost.

13:47—Random Hall

Leftover Nitrogen: Eat our ice cream, smash our flowers...help us run through the rest of our liquid nitrogen!

14:00

14:00—Senior Haus

Haus Tours

14:00—Senior Haus

Mask Making

14:00—Senior Haus

Shark Banana Splits

14:00—New House

Non-Newtonian Fluid Pool: Do you know what happens when you mix cornstarch and water? Forget the ziplock baggies from elementary school, we have a POOL of this stuff!

14:30—MacGregor

Water War: The Final Stage: Fill up a giant cart of water balloons, load up your water guns, equip your pool noodle sword and custom shield. It’s time to fight. WEST CAMPUS!!

14:47—Random Hall

Nerdy Singalong!: It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction with how much this event fulfilling in creative way. If hopes and dreams are shattering apart, remember it’s gonna be the future soon, so press up B and be still alive.

15:00

15:00—Simmons Hall

Stars and Stripes: Or whatever else you wanna stencil on some free t-shirts while you make 3D stars!

15:00—McCormick Hall

Dodgeball: Feeling old as you’re starting college? Come join McCormick for an exciting game of dodge ball!

15:17—Random Hall

DESTROY YOUR ENEMIES WITH FIERCE BLASTS OF DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE: Come join the Random faction as we march to victory at the water wars! Cover yourself in war-paint! Prepare flying aqueous projectiles! Create funnelators of doom and deathiness! Unleash your inner berserker!

15:52—EAsT camPUS

he had a “going away for good” email-- does that not mean anything? is it like a “going out of business every month” sale?

16:00

16:00—McCormick Hall

Arts and Crafts with McCormick GRTs: Have fun with arts and crafts while hanging out with the McCormick GRTs!

16:12—EAsT camPUS

the people building our roller coaster: two homeless guys and reed la fleche

16:17—Random Hall

Nerf Chess: You know what chess needs more of? NERF GUNS! Shoot your opponent to make it your turn. Guaranteed to be cognitive overload.

16:45—Next House

Simmons-Next Chariot Race: Simmons Hall and Next House race for West Campus dominance in a human-drawn chariot race. Follow the race down to the Water War!

17:00

17:00—Senior Haus

Prepare for war

17:00—Simmons Hall

Simmons Build: Ok time to shine, let’s win this thing! (Wonder if anyone noticed this was a poem.)

17:15

The Annual East vs. West water war! Come with bathing suits and water balloons, and destroy those other guys! They suck! On the McDermott Dot.

17:30—Baker House

Sunrise Waffles: Come enjoy our beautiful million- dollar view of the Boston Skyline from our rooftop while you eat breakfast and chat with Baker residents!

17:41—EAsT camPUS

this freshmen runs up behind me and says “is this on the way to baker house?”

17:47—Random Hall

Random Plays Randomly: Up! B! Left! No, your other left! Come play video games, Twitch Plays Pokemon style, with other frosh for great glory!

18:00

18:00—New House

Taste of New House: New House has nine individual houses, and every single one of them has prepared a delectable meal - just for you! Get to know the people of New House while eating food cooked by our numbered and cultural houses.

18:00—Burton Conner

Floats on Floats on Floats: Float through REX and come drink everything from apple pie floats to classic root beer floats to lime sherbet floats with us!

18:00—Simmons Hall

The Consolation Dinner: In the rare case that we lose the water war, at least we have plenty of food to drown away our sorrows!

18:00—Next House

Victory Pizza: Come celebrate what we are sure will be a gloriously successful Water War with PIZZA. Then stick around and check out some of our unique Wing Events!

18:00—iHouse

Movie Marathon

18:00—McCormick Hall

Sweets, Treats, and Board Games: We’ve got board games, card games, and tons more. Come play or eat delicious desserts!

18:10—Senior Haus

Garment District Adventure Time

18:25—Senior Haus

Victory BBQ

18:30—Baker House

Meet in the Baker Lobby and we’ll head out to play some Ultimate!

18:30—Next House

Next 2W Dungeons & Dragons: Come, students, and join your fellow adventurers at Morzacs Institution for the Talented. We welcome all from first-time mages to experienced paladins to test their mettle, and survive the entrance exam of a lifetime.

18:30—MacGregor

Silly String Lava War: Spray 200 cans of silly string while jumping across tables- the floor is lava! Sweeeeeet.

18:34—EAsT camPUS

Let’s build an Igloo.

18:47—Random Hall

Tuesday Night Talks: Secretly, this is TNT. But there won’t be any explosions. Come listen to upperclassmen talk about how not to explode at MIT and Random. It’s going to be great. Seriously. Vegetarian/vegan food will be provided.

19:00

19:00—La Maison Française

Cupcake Décor: Ever wanted to become an awesome baker? Join the world-renowned French House chefs in decorating cupcakes! You’ll learn everything, from basic piping to fancy techniques. All skill levels welcome!

19:00—Burton Conner

Sushi and Smoothies: Tired of pizza and burgers? Make your own California rolls and smoothies and enjoy some food that’s good and good for you.

19:00—New House

Sherlock & Deep Fryer Fest: Two things Desmond residents love: watching Sherlock and eating good food. Desmond is willing to give you both in one deep-fried event and you’ll have the opportunity to sample an array of foods and then guess what it is!

19:00—Simmons Hall

SIMFEST: THE ULTIMATE SIMMONS EXPERIENCE! Come participate in our festival of mini-events run by the many Simmons communities.

19:00—Maseeh Hall

Come join us for some delicious ice cream! We’ll meet in the Maseeh Lobby at 7pm for a quick walk towards yummy frozen treats.

19:30—Senior Haus

Screen Printing

19:30—MacGregor

Ice Cream Tuesdaes: It’s funny because they’re sundaes but on a Tuesday. We’ll have a big selection of gourmet Boston area ice cream and sorbet, with fun toppings.

19:30—Next House

Next 4E Tea-Rex Party: Are you a tea lover that’s ready for some relaxation? Come experience a 4E tea party! We may not be procrastinating on psets or spontaneously congregating in the hallway, but this tea party will be full of 4E fun!

19:38—EAsT camPUS

I’M SORRY THAT YOU’VE NEVER PITCHED A REAL LIVE TENT BEFORE. I put it down in the grass and this smell like poofed out... what is that smell? is it my tent or is it nature? “I’m pretty sure it’s those guys tent...”

19:47—EAsT camPUS

the first question i ever got from a concerned parent was, is yanni alive? “it’s a valid question”

20:00

20:00—McCormick Hall

Nighttime Carnival: Why limit yourself to games under the sun? Grab a glow stick and join us for a game of frisbee, capture the flag, and more!

20:00—Maseeh Hall

Tryna bust out some sick moves on Just Dance or play some crazy fun Wii-U games? Join us in the Maseeh Game Room & Media Room for some good times and good food.

20:00—Burton Conner

Super Smashing: Come smash with us, it’ll be smashing.

20:17—Random Hall

Comics!: Wondering why the Galaxy needs Guardians? Not sure how the Dark Knight has anything to do with bats? Curious about comics in and out of the World Wide Web? Join us at Random for laid-back perusing of our comics collection accompanied by hot chocolate.

20:30—Burton Conner

BC A Capella: “Like singing? Waiting to reveal your inner Pentatonix? Well this is the perfect opportunity. Sing some arrangements, learn to beat box and even improv! See you there, acapellers.”

20:30—Next House

Next 3W Safety Third Shenanigans: We will sporcle! We will fence with pool noodles! We will make a human tower! We will eat exorbitant amounts of food in a short period of time! Come join us! Love and corgis, Next 3W.

20:51—EAsT camPUS

i’m so glad i’m not at a farm herding pigs. i herded so many pigs. five at a time, but at least six or seven times. first you get a bucket of corn, then you herd them back into the electric fence. you’re fucking punching the shti out of the pig. it kinda goes mrreehh.

20:59—EAsT camPUS

21:00

21:00—Simmons Hall

Puzzle Hunt: A puzzle hunt made by MIT students for MIT students. Drop in at any time and solve a few puzzles, or try to solve the meta first.

21:00—MacGregor

S’more S’mores: Hot sticky fun with way too many marshmallows, redux. Grab some then go watch a movie!

21:00—Senior Haus

Last minute mask making

21:17—Random Hall

Pecker Board Game Night: Build a Dominion in Puerto Rico comprised of Seven Wonders, then Race to the Galaxy and help the Twilight Imperium crush the Resistance. Through the Ages, board games have been an Innovation Random Hall has enjoyed. Come and play!

21:30—Next House

Next 2E Games, Guitars, Music, Mayhem, Food, and Fun: Food! Board Games! Video Games! Music Jam Sesh! All in one place! Get ready to #turnup with Next Two East in our all out extravaganza! Test your skills! BYOI (Bring your own instruments). Show us your talent!

21:30—Simmons Hall

Disney Singalong: Be our Guest and Let it Go! Be Prepared to sing your heart out and you might just go from Zero to Hero.

21:30—La Maison Française

Mandalas: Come and relax with some Mandalas! Spiritually, Mandalas hold quite a bit of significance in many religions. For our purposes, they’re really fun to color!

21:30—Burton Conner

Deep Conversations with Shallow People: A philosophy talk.

21:59—EAsT camPUS

are

21:59—EAsT camPUS

constantly

22:00

22:00—MacGregor

Sci-Fi Film Fest: The good, the bad, and the ugly. What do you mean you can’t drill to the center of the earth?

22:00—Senior Haus

that thing with the masks

22:17—Random Hall

Experimental Smoothies: Do you like SCIENCE? What about SMOOTHIES? Come drink our smoothies, and maybe make some of your own. We promise they won’t all be poisonous.

22:30—Next House

Next 5W Dino Movie Night: Rumour has it dragons are legendary creatures with reptilian qualities similar to those of a dinosaur! We’re going to be learning how to train them using the giant 5W projector screen! We’ll have snacks for all dragon trainers!

22:40—EAsT camPUS

Okay but seriously “how terrified are your parents of east campus” is a great conversation starter

23:00

23:00—Burton Conner

Hot Chocolate, Smores, & The Universe 2.0: Drink cocoa, eat s’mores, and ponder the universe with Conner 2. Help decorate our hallway planetarium or just relax after a long day.

23:00—Simmons Hall

Lip Sync Battles: It’s like American Idol but you don’t even have to sing. Come be a rockstar and compete for awesome prizes.

23:00—Senior Haus

pillow fight

23:00—New House

Tasty Treats: Have you reached your sugar intake limit yet? No? Boy, do we have the event for you! Test your limits with midnight dessert from New House!

23:17—Random Hall

Spinning on the Roofdeck: Discover the art of making poi swoosh around your body! The hard part is not hitting yourself in the head with a sock full of birdseed.

23:26—EAsT camPUS

speaking of fuzzy and leonid’s radio show: my mother is the biggest fan of their show

23:59—EAsT camPUS

Wednesday,
August 27, 2014

00:00

00:00—Senior Haus

Coffee & Cigarettes

00:00—Next House

00:59—EAsT camPUS

gchat

02:00

02:00

FYRE applications close! If you want to transfer dormitories, make sure to fill out your application by now! For more information, go to http://housing.mit.edu/undergraduate/first_year_student_move_information#FYRE

03:00

03:00—Senior Haus

Orgy

05:00

05:12—EAsT camPUS

he doesn’t hate everything he’s just a buddhist--it’s not his fault

06:00

06:00—Senior Haus

Walk of shame

07:00

07:10—EAsT camPUS

he had sex with his girlfriend in a bed WHOA WHOA WHOA

08:00

08:00—Simmons Hall

Mystery Breakfast: You have to be a detective to figure out what we’re having for breakfast this morning, but you don’t have to be a detective to eat it!

08:00—New House

08:14—EAsT camPUS

my mom’s moms run a one room schoolhouse in the middle of seattle. in the last couple of years they’ve moved to this five mile by one mile island in canada that’s entirely gay people

09:00

09:00—Maseeh Hall

Come enjoy crepes with a variety of tasty toppings!

09:00—MacGregor

Food, meet mouth: We’re tired of making breakfast food but hopefully you’re not tired of eating it.

09:30—Next House

Next Breakfast: To-go breakfast items will be available in the lobby. Start your day right! Dino Fact of the Day: Dinosaurs probably became extinct due to a massive asteroid impact, whose crater can be found in Mexico in the Yucatán Peninsula.

10:00

10:00—Senior Haus

SH Runners

10:00—La Maison Française

LEGO Excavation: The LMF Dept. of Archaeology recently came across boxes of some interesting artifacts from time immemorial. They seem to be a set of plastic pieces utilizing standardized joining technique, allowing for seemingly endless combinations. We need you to check w

10:16—EAsT camPUS

he says things that could be like “we’re bros” except they’re creepy!

10:30—Simmons Hall

GIANT STUFF: EVERYTHING is bigger in Simmons. Giant BALL PITS. Giant JENGA. Giant ORIGAMI. Giant TWISTER. Famangomadan.

10:30—Senior Haus

Brunch of Doom

10:47—Random Hall

C is for Cookie and T is for Tea: Come enjoy games like Bananagrams, Boggle, Scrabble, or solve a crossword or two with us. Or just relax and unwind from the whirlwind of REX with tasty cookies and a cuppa tea. Oolong, chai, green, earl grey, rooibos...

11:00

11:00—Next House

Next Sustain Shakeable Flashlights: Shake it up, baby! But first solder it, drill it, wind it, glue it: come make your own shake-powered flashlight with the greenest geeks in the House!

11:00—MacGregor

Paintpaintpaint: Paint walls paint things paint people. Ends when you want it to end

11:00—Maseeh Hall

Do you like food, adventure, and prizes? Come by the castle for a scavenger hunt and pizza! Be on the winning team and get a prize!!

11:29—EAsT camPUS

life tips, i gotta smell with my mouth open

11:30—Senior Haus

Mad Hatter Tea Party

11:47—Random Hall

Fiddler on the Roofdeck: Do you love latkes? Miss matzah ball soup? Come eat home-cooked, out-of-season, traditional Jewish food on Random Hall’s roofdeck. Being Jewish not required.

12:00

12:00—Simmons Hall

Salad Party: Had a few too many carbs so far this rex? Come enjoy some delicious salad and vegetables over at Simmons! We’ll have a crazy topping bar!

12:00—New House

Brunch of Waffles: Brunches of waffles are delicious Oh My! Have a brunch full of bunches of waffles with tasteful toppings and more.

14:00

14:00—MacGregor

Speed Friending: Now that you probably know where you’re living, get a headstart on meeting your new best friend, or that girl-next-door.

15:00

15:13—EAsT camPUS

next you wear glasses and swirl it and see if it develops legs and everything

16:00

16:06—EAsT camPUS

don’t fuck up my nipple. this is my nipple.

17:00

17:00—Senior Haus

Let’s Dye Together

17:00—Senior Haus

BBQ & Tireswinging

17:00—Simmons Hall

Event Re-Runs: Did you have way too much fun at Simmons REX? Come revisit some of the great events we’ve had! We’ll just be messing around until In-House Rush begins.

17:00—Burton Conner

Chat with Sims and Surya: Come chat with Sims and Surya

17:00—Senior Haus

Graffitti & AntiVandalism

18:00

18:00—Senior Haus

Nude Portraiture

18:00

IN-HOUSE RUSH:
Once you get results from FYRE, or decide to stay, join the other frosh and pick where you’ll live in the dorm!

18:15—La Casa

Dinner with the family: Come join us and be part of our familia for dinner.

18:41—EAsT camPUS

it’s like facebook and east campus, that’s the only clothing that you own. “why would you own any other clothing?”

19:00

19:00—iHouse

Jeopardy Game: International Development Themed!

19:30—McCormick Hall

Sleepover: End REX with a fun night of games and snacks with all your new McCormick friends!

20:00

20:27—EAsT camPUS

the word that just popped into my head was lazerdilldo

21:00

21:00—iHouse

Trip to Toscanini’s: Meet in New House 1

21:06—EAsT camPUS

don’t make me take everyone off the mailing list again

21:15—Maseeh Hall

Come meet Maseeh residents and eat delicious cupcakes!

21:36—EAsT camPUS

ditsy-- that’s a big word

22:00

22:00—Maseeh Hall

Come to Maseeh and make new friends by drawing on them! We’ll have black lights, highlighters, and a white T-shirt if you forget one! Oh, and there’ll be music to dance to also.

22:30—Senior Haus

Church

22:34—EAsT camPUS

i repress my gay urges for about 20 seconds every day. “keep exercising, you’ll get to 30 seconds” “it’s like kegels, every once and a while you remember to do it”

23:00

23:59—EAsT camPUS

“if you pee, you’ll have to keep peeing forever” “that’s not how peeing works” “something something webMD” “something something FACEBOOK”

Thursday,
August 28, 2014

08:00

08:00—Simmons Hall

Pancake Breakfast: Stayed up all night? Come fuel up for an exciting day the right way: with a scrumptious assortment of pancakes! Make them your own with rainbow-colored batter!