Residence EXploration 2009
CORRECTION TO THIS ARTICLE: The Daily Confusion published in Friday's Tech gave an incorrect date for the housemasters' welcome brunch. The event occurs on Sunday, August 30 at 12:30 p.m., not Saturday, August 29.
Thursday,
August 27, 2009
12:00
12:00âDormitory Council Housing Lottery Opens - Enter at http://web.mit.edu/housing/lottery/
Friday,
August 28, 2009
00:00
00:00âEAsT camPUSâField trip to slice up mattresses on the Senior House loading dock! Come slice up mattresses with us at East Campus.
01:00
01:07âEAsT camPUSâIf we had magic boobs weâd be better sluts than you. Come see our non-magic boobs at East Campus. PEW PEW PEW!
04:00
04:00âEAsT camPUSâWhy should you come to East Campus? James wrote rawr.
05:00
05:02âEAsT camPUSâCome build a clap-activated sprinkler system for our friends in course 10.
07:00
07:00âEAsT camPUSâThis issue of the Daily Confusion is going to keep our housemasters busy.
09:00
09:00âMcCormick HallâWelcome to McCormick! Enjoy snacks and tours of your new home away from home.
12:00
12:00âEAsT camPUSâIf youâre easily offended, STOP READING NOW. Run away, save yourselves, fellate James.
13:00
13:00âLa Maison FrançaiseâMafia: The Mafia veut vous tuer.
13:00âSenior HausâExperience the Object We Built! @ Senior Haus Courtyard. Donât wear anything too...complicated. (All of REX)
13:00âEAsT camPUSâAre you worried about your child becoming sexually active in college? Drop them off at EC, and weâll get that out of the way early.
13:00âEAsT camPUSâCome see how long it takes the grad students to notice that their volleyball has been dipped in cum.
13:30âNext HouseâLet Nexties show you around our dorm! Catch a glimpse of our impressive facilities and comfy lounges, and learn what makes residents of Next House bond like family!
14:00
14:00âAshdown HouseâDorm Tour: A tour guide will be waiting for you at the Student Center (with a big sign that says NW35) to take you to NW35, the newest dorm.
14:00âSenior HausâTIRE SWING @ Senior Haus Courtyard. Come play on what we believe is the only tire swing on campus, and be taught by the Tire Swing Masters at the Haus. Donât worry about embarrassing yourself. The squirrels donât mind. Iâve asked them
15:00
15:00âEAsT camPUSâAre your parents gone yet? Want to freak them out? Come get your hair dyed at EC.
15:00âSenior HausâHAUS TOURS @ Senior Haus Front Desk. Ever wondered what a âsecond asian seaâ or a âfourth WARâ was? Wonder what a bunch of your favorite characters from your childhood look like in a massive ancient-Roman-style orgy? Drop by and find out now!
15:00âEAsT camPUSâItâs called the East Campus Courtyard, not the Course 10 Memorial Volleyball Court. Come tell assholes to get off our lawn.
15:17âRandom HallâTruffles: Come to Random Hall and make your own delicious chocolates! White chocolate with wasabi, dark chocolate with raspberry, milk chocolate with lemon and ginger... the possibilities are (nearly) endless!
16:00
16:00âNext HouseâCome explore Boston, with knowledgeable Nexties to guide you! Catch breathtaking views of Bostonâs landmarks, and learn of all the hot spots for food, shopping and entertainment!
16:00âAshdown HouseâVideo and Board Games: We have Rock Band, Guitar Hero, Halo, as well as a variety of board games like Monopoly (Star Wars version, w00t), Scrabble, Equate (math version of Scrabble), Risk, etc. See if you can beat Dom, who is ranked online for Guitar Hero!
16:00âSenior HausâVOYAGE TO THE PLAYGROUND @ Senior Haus Lobby. Relive your childhood â selectively. Go on an adventure with some of our prettiest and most handsome residents and swing your heart out on the bestest playground around.
16:30âNext HouseâWhat better way to cool off in the Boston summer heat than to have an all out water war? Weâll have hundreds of water balloons as well as dozens of water guns in our courtyard reserved for you to have an unforgettably refreshing time.
16:47âRandom HallâD&D One-Shots, Edition 3.5: Wanted: Bold adventurers to help rid a town of a marauding dragon. Not to defeat the dragon in combat, but to retrieve a long-lost artifact to banish it. Goblins. Ancient ruins. Rival factions. Magic items. Many-sided dice. Adventure awaits!
17:00
17:17âRandom HallâLiquid Nitrogen Ice Cream: The best tasting ice cream weâve ever made... in 30 seconds.
18:00
18:00âSenior HausâCooking With Niece Jemima @ Senior Haus 1st Floor Kitchen. Listen. Listen. Listen. LISTEN! Come get scolded, and cook. Then EAT FOR FREE.
18:00âEAsT camPUSâWhy do alums think the assfuck twins are more offensive than last yearâs Daily Confusion? Because your motherâs a whore!
18:17âRandom HallâMemes: In memoriam: Rickrolling, R.I.P. November 2008.
19:00
19:17âRandom HallâHaymarket Fever: FRUIT. NOT BEEF. EAT ANYWAY.
20:00
20:00âEAsT camPUSâBe careful when fucking narwhales; they tend to break condoms.
20:00âLa Maison FrançaiseâMilkshakes, Smoothies and Cookies: Reposez-vous, mangez, buvez, et jouissez de la vie.
20:00âEAsT camPUSâCome find out how much you trust that that white stuff is mayonnaise at diner on 4th West.
20:17âRandom HallâDr. Horribleâs Sing-Back Blog: With my freeze ray, I will stop- singing please? âthe pain.â Iâm covered in BEEEEEEEEEEES!
21:00
21:00âNext HouseâCome settle down in front Next Houseâs big screen TV and explore the world of Wall-E while enjoying milk and cookies.
21:00âEAsT camPUSâContrary to popular belief, there is a student government worse than the UA.
21:00âSimmons HallâMovie Night - We know REX hasnât officially started yet, but we canât help showing off our glorious ten foot movie screen and Bose surround sound. Come enjoy a movie marathon and see what itâs like to have a movie theater in your dorm! Movie snacks will be provided :)
21:00âAshdown HouseâMafia Night: The only time that you can kill your enemy and sleep with a stranger without consequences!
21:00âSenior HausâBoycott The Film Industry @ Senior Haus Lobby. Brad Pitt can suck my sock. The film industry is run by heartless pigs, stealing our money and giving us nothing but sorrows and empty dreams in return.
21:17âRandom Hallâ3-D Twister: We wanted to do it in 4-D, but the Transdimensional Building Committee wouldnât approve. 3 Boards, 3 Dimensions, 5242880 more ways to get tangled up.
21:47âRandom HallâRoofdeck Movies: Beautiful view, horrible films.
22:00
22:00âEAsT camPUSâCome see merry men reach around on the merry go round.
22:00âNew HouseâDesmond Movie Night 1/5 (10 PM): Come watch âRobocopâ with us in the New House 5 lounge!
22:47âRandom HallâBoard Games: Monopoly? Not a chance. Come and play our smorgasbord of Betrayal at the Twilight Imperium Robo Rally Escaping from Zyzzlvaria with Munchkins and Ricochet Robots Scrabbling for Tickets to Ride the Zombie Fluxx.
23:00
23:00âEAsT camPUSâHURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Saturday,
August 29, 2009
00:00
00:00âEAsT camPUSâIf you didnât manage to seduce any upperclassmen, you can always get violated by Shen at midnight. With some ledâs.
00:00âEAsT camPUSâYou do know weâre building a roller coaster, right? Get your asses over here.
02:00
02:00âEAsT camPUSâBack in the day people went on swings to have fun. At East Campus back in the day is today.
03:00
03:00âEAsT camPUSâBUILD BUILD BUILD BUILD BUILD. OH GOD WEâRE NEVER GOING TO FINISH.
03:01âEAsT camPUSâThatâs what she said.
03:17âRandom HallâRHOP (Random House of Pancakes): Why are we up this late? To feed you pancakes, of course.
05:00
05:00âEAsT camPUSâHow much Red Bull do you have to drink to give a mosquito caffeine poisoning. Come find out at EC.
05:01âEAsT camPUSâCome rout West Campus! Remember when Cortez went to Mexico? Itâs going to be like that.
06:00
06:00âEAsT camPUSâCome fingerbang your mom and sister and collect their lady juices for a magic potion
07:00
07:00âEAsT camPUSâFucking costco was out of fucking freezy pops. But weâll make sure we get you some. Come suck on them.
08:00
08:00âNext HouseâYour friendly Next House residents will help you move in to your temporary room. Come sit in our hospitality lounge to relax after your trip to MIT and eat yummy snacks while playing video games or chatting with upperclassmen.
08:00âEAsT camPUSâNo really, the freezy pops are our thing. So you should come nom our thing.
08:00âBurton ConnerâBreakfast -- Get your orientation started off right with a Breakfast of Champions at BC! [tv lounge]
08:00âAshdown HouseâBreakfast: Come hang out with the Phoenix Group and enjoy some breakfast while youâre at it!
08:00âSenior HausâNAKED LAN PARTAY!@SH Lbby MAD przs! Pssbly b hosted 2day n grnd flr lobby.Cum join 4 lots of pwnnnnzoorrring in CS,WOW,CIV 4,SC,Battlefield,Battleship,Windows,Pinball, and EVN MOR!! Join sum h4x0rrrring fun!!YEAHH! 1st 4 ppl to show up wil get FREE ORGNL cops of Civ 4.The wn
08:20âSenior HausâNAKED LAN MOVED @ IDK. Hey everyone! So it tursn out sr haus need stheir lobby 2nite, but the kind folks at boxxley have agreed to let us urse their couryard for the lanzorz. Free donuts and milkshqkes!~1211!11!1@1!
09:00
09:00âEAsT camPUSâThereâs nothing sadder than a Japansese man singing Kareoke. Thatâs why you come to EC.
09:00âNew HouseâWelcome Lounge/Tours (9 AM - 12 PM): Have some snacks! Itâs just New Houseâs way of welcoming you to MIT for the first time. While youâre satisfying your snack urges, donât be afraid to hop on one of the many dorm tour groups- theyâll be going on all day.
09:17âRandom HallâSaturday Morning Cartoons: Terrible sugary cereal and terrible Saturday morning cartoons- two things that are as awesome today as they were twelve years ago.
09:30âSimmons HallâBreakfast and Bleach Design - Tired of tie-dying? So are we! Grab a muffin from 9:30 to 10, then use stencils and bleach to design awesome shirts that donât look like theyâre from third grade summer camp.
10:00
10:00âEAsT camPUSâEverything you didnât want to know about your motherâs sexual exploits. Because believe us, we know them.
10:00âAshdown HouseâDorm Tours: A tour guide will be waiting for you at the Student Center (with a big sign that says NW35) to take you to NW35, the newest dorm.
10:00âSenior HausâTOWEL TIME @ Senior House. Donât forget to bring your towel.
10:17âRandom HallâCeilings- Too plain?: Have you ever longed to go back to the days of elementary school? Return to the days when finger-painting was more than acceptable and help us paint our ceiling tiles while youâre at it.
11:00
11:00âEAsT camPUSâSomething thatâs pointedly not vulgar but still excites you in your pants.
11:00âBurton ConnerâBuild Your Own Water Weapon -- We support Weapons of Mass Saturation. Some assembly required. [game room]
11:00âLa Maison FrançaiseâFrench Brunch: avec grapes et crĂšpes!
11:00âEAsT camPUSâHey freshman, stop trying to hit on her; she canât resist our wood.
11:17âRandom HallâMobilize for the water war!: Arm, paint, and funnelate yourselves for the upcoming water war. Crush (or at least mildly soak) your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their (hot engineering) women.
12:00
12:00âEAsT camPUSâYouâve had demons and cunts, now try semencunts!
12:00âSenior HausâBACON BACON BACON BACON BACON @ Senior Haus Lobby. BACON? BACON, BACON BACON! BACON. (BACON BACON.) Also: coffee. The original.
12:17âRandom HallâBacon, bacon, bacon: Bacon bacon bacon? Bacon. BaconbaconbaconbaconBACON. Bacon bacon! (Bacon: baconbaconbacon) Bacon- bacon, bacon bacon bacon. BAAAACCOOOONNN!!!!
12:30âDormitory CouncilâHousemaster Welcome Brunch - Itâs time to be welcomed to the residential side of MIT. Meet your Housemasters and members of the house government. Learn about DormConâs REX events. Attendance is mandatory!
13:00
13:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus. More hardcore than your dadâs porn collection
13:00âBurton ConnerâWelcome BBQ -- Come get a warm welcome from BC, and lunch while youâre at it. [bbq pits]
13:00âNew HouseâComfort Foods + Games Galore (1 PM - 3 PM): Want to indulge yourself in the ultimate game of trickery and lies, also known as Mafia? Or maybe show off your nerves of steel playing Jenga? Or just kick back and relax with comfort food? Well come on over, weâve got it all.
13:00âSimmons HallâCapture the Duck - Back by popular demand! This is a twist on a classic game involving hidden rubber ducks and hitting your friends with foam pool noodles :)
13:00âSenior HausâDan McAnulty @ Senior Haus Lobby. Well, maybe itâs a Wedding Lan Party. Also, DangerClock.
13:00âBaker HouseâWelcome to Baker House! Hang out with your fellow classmates while enjoying a great BBQ with a riverside view.( Baker House BBQ Pits, on Memorial Drive side)
13:17âRandom HallâNerf Wars: Shoot your friends! And your enemies! And the people you just met! Join us for a nerf battle of EPIC PROPORTIONS!
14:00
14:00âEAsT camPUSâIf you read all of these and complain to Housing then you can suck Jamesâ balls
14:00âAshdown HouseâDorm Tours: A tour guide will be waiting for you at the Student Center (with a big sign that says NW35) to take you to NW35, the newest dorm.
14:00âEAsT camPUSâTours: Come see where James keeps his giant penis!
14:00âSenior HausâGRAFITTI + STENCILS @ Senior Haus Lobby and Courtyard. Prepare yourself for life on the streets. Learn to make stencils and tag like a pro. Fessional. Tagger.
14:00âMacGregorâMacgregor Tours - Come to MacGregor and let a resident take you around and show you all the greatness that is MacGregor. Youâll see MacGregor isnât just about singles, itâs about people having a grand old time, in lounges, hallways, and bathrooms. Come find out how!
14:17âRandom HallâMinihunt: Canât wait for the MIT Mystery Hunt? You donât have to! Join us to work on some awesome puzzles and brainteasers. Weâll even try some meta-puzzles and go on a puzzling runaround! Healthy brain food provided.
14:47âRandom HallâLiquid Nitrogen Ice Cream: Served steaming cold.
15:00
15:00âEAsT camPUSâCome to East Campus to get your tongue caught in Drewâs meat helicopter
15:00âBurton ConnerâIce Cream Social -- Summer is hot. Ice cream is cold. You like sweet things. We have sweet things. You read me? [bbq pits]
15:00âAshdown HouseâUltimate Frisbee and Soccer at Kresge Oval: Help the Phoenix Groupâs IM Ultimate Frisbee and Soccer teams hone their skillz! All skill levels welcome.
15:00âEAsT camPUSâBlue is the new blonde. Come dunk your head in a tub of bleach at EC.
15:00âSenior HausâConsume Beverages in Red Plastic Cups @ Senior Haus. Always wanted to be like those âcool kidsâ that drink from red plastic cups at parties youâve heard about on TV? Now you can! Talk to upperclassmen about music and politics, and whatever else upperclassmen get on s
15:47âRandom HallâAdventures of Baron von Ternus: How to make a Baron Ternus: one part tonic for class, ten parts bitters for attitude. Serve with wienerschnitzel. Note: alcohol will not be served. Wienerschnitzel will. Terni are always sober but love them some fine Austrian breaded pork.
16:00
16:00âEAsT camPUSâReferences to sexual health seminars? Weâve got legit events later.
16:00âBaker HouseâIce Cream Party: Join us for ice cream with toppings and other treats and meet your fellow classmates as we kick off orientation!(Front of Baker House (W7))
16:00âEAsT camPUSâHere, itâs always November.
16:00âEAsT camPUSâIf you come to EC, weâll show you how to drill. We might mean with power tools, we might not.
16:00âEAsT camPUSâWater War Preparation: Do you pledge your allegiance to noble knights of EAst camPUS? Good, then join us in our preparations for our assault on the Western masses.
16:00âSenior HausâHow To Have a Nervous Breakdown @ Senior Haus Lobby. ***This is a serious event*** Come learn what to do when MIT goes wrong, hosted by our only remaining (clinically) crazy resident, the infamous NICK WANG. Learn how/when/where to get help, and how to deal.
16:59âEAsT camPUSâHALGUALGHLAUGALGHAGHALGHALGAUGHALUGAH
17:00
17:00âNext HouseâWrap up your fun-filled day with freshly made smoothies - you pick the fruit, weâll blend it for ya. Smoothie-making has never been this easy (or delicious).
17:00âEAsT camPUSâ8 = > 8 == > 8 === > 8 ==== > 8 ===== > 8 ====== > 8 ======= >
17:00âEAsT camPUSâDo you want to rape a village and pillage their women, or pillage a village and rape their women? You can do both at East Campus! We have a motherfucking viking boat!
17:00âSenior HausâBible Study @ Senior Haus. This time with real Catholics! Not your normal Bible study.
17:00âEAsT camPUSâWATER WAR. For the glory of EC!
17:17âRandom HallâSettlers of Pangaea: Catan has suffered a massive collision with the mainland! Settlements and cities galore! You may have brick for grain, but Iâve got wood for sheep!
18:00
18:00âEAsT camPUSâBreasts out to here in this little tiny bra? You are one classy broad. Come to EC to meet our classy broads
18:00âSimmons HallâChinese Food at Simmons - Enjoy the Simmons dining hall and join your friends for a delicious dinner of catered Chinese food!
18:17âRandom HallâRandom- The Gathering: Ever wanted to cast Global Thermonuclear Warfare? The Wizards of the Dorm have conjured a special edition cardset of Magic: The Gathering- so now you can.
18:47âRandom HallâWok of Doom: If a wok could signal the Armageddon, this would be it. Come feast on tasty stir fry and rice.
19:00
19:00âEAsT camPUSâYou encounter a rat in the East Campus courtyard. What is your first instinct? Eat it, or fuck it?
19:00âNew HouseâEating Contests (7 PM â 8 PM): If youâve ever pondered the most efficient way to finish a plate of hot dogs, or ever tried to maximize the amount of pancakes you could fit into your stomach at once- this event just might be for you.
19:00âMcCormick HallâGames & Smoothies. Have fun playing board games while drinking homemade smoothies.
19:00âMacGregorâFondue - Weâre going to melt tasty chocolate and let you dip stuff into it. And then eat that stuff, while experiencing the company of delightful MacGregor natives. Weâll have stuff for you to eat, but as long as its tested and legal, weâll let you dip it in chocolate.
19:30âAshdown HouseâBlazing Inferno Barbecue: Grab some flaming foods!
19:30âSenior HausâMask Making @ Senior Haus Lobby. Hide your face. Become fabulous. Included: glitter, duct tape, feathers, and more. Not included: David Bowie. Just kidding, we have him, too.
19:30âSenior HausâOpen Band Rehersal @ Senior Haus Basement. Come watch a resident student âProper Hardcoreâ band, NSFH, reherse openly! They play music. Loudly. And offensively.
19:47âRandom HallâNerdy Sing-Along: Itâs hard to overstate my satisfaction with the songs weâve got lined up here. If you want to be first in your class here at MIT, just remember that itâs gonna be the future soon and if we just keep singing weâll be still alive when it comes.
20:00
20:00âDormitory CouncilâLegends of the Hidden Temply Party - A wildly fun party/adventure hybrid that spans across the West Campus dorms! While you enjoy food and music, you can compete in challenges, win prizes, and answer trivia questions. Location: Briggs Field.
20:00âEAsT camPUSâCum to EC and join in the alfredo challenge!
20:00âDas Deutsche HausâCome chill with German House and play some (video) games.
20:00âNew HouseâToo many events going on all at once got you stressed out? Come relax and watch some TV with New House 2. Choose from a selection of shows including The Boondocks, House, The Office, True blood, Arrested Development and The Wire.
20:00âLa CasaâSpanish Game Night with Loteria, domino, spanish karaoke and food
20:42âEAsT camPUSâWhen we do stupid shit, we think itâs really awesome
20:47âRandom HallâTea and Math: The Pathological Monsters of functions: Fractal Recursion and the Busy Beaver Function served alongside tea that is equally exciting: Aztec Chocolate Tea, African Redbush Peach Tea, and biscotti!
21:00
21:00âEAsT camPUSâIf there are piles of shit in the East Campus courtyard, its probably something you can ride. Oh yeah.
21:00âEAsT camPUSâWeâll rock you like a hurrrrricane.
21:00âEAsT camPUSâWeâve been giving the assfuck twins wood all week, tonight its your turn to ride
21:00âAshdown HouseâRebirth/Rising from the Ashes Party: Once a year, our phoenix is reborn. Folklore has it that watching this fiery ceremony leads to engorged genitalia for the upcoming year. Note: This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA.
21:00âSenior HausâBILLY MAYES @ HERE. TALK TO OUR TV PEOPLE. BUY OUR PRODUCT. GET MORE FREE. THEREâS NO OBLIGATION. CALL NOW. 617-324-1205.
21:47âRandom HallâRevenge of the Board Games!: Didnât get enough the first time? Come for a second round of our favorite board games...or come join us for the first time!
22:00
22:00âEAsT camPUSâTheir dong vaccums are kept in a cage downstairs. They are not too old for you to use.
22:00âNew HouseâWest Side Party: Legends of the Hidden Temple (10 PM â 1 AM): Itâs a wildly fun party/adventure hybrid that spans across the West Campus dorms! While you enjoy food and music, you can compete in challenges, win prizes, answer trivia questions, and assemble puzzle pieces.
22:00âSenior HausâCOME USE YOUR MASK! @ Senior Haus Lobby. Remember that thing with those people and that stuff at the place? Yeah, this is it.
22:00âMacGregorâGladiator Jousting - Come to the Macgregor courtyard and try to earn your Westside Party puzzle piece in our arena, a jumping castle. Challenge any Macgregor resident and should you remain standing, the prize is yours. Weâll also be serving snow cones and snacks!
22:00âNew HouseâDesmond Movie Night 2/5 (10 PM): Join us in the New House 5 lounge as we watch âThe Omega Manâ, based on Richard Mathesonâs âI am Legendâ.
23:00
23:00âEAsT camPUSâCumm to East Campus to seduce our upperclassmen and fail horribly. Or worse, succeed.
23:00âEAsT camPUSâChallenge your roomate to see who can get to the bottom first on the assfuck twins.
23:00âSenior HausâCOFFEE + CIGARETTES @ Senior Haus Courtyard. Come watch the movie âCoffee and Cigarettesâ while drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes.
23:59âLa Maison FrançaiseâMidnight Ultimate: Glow sticks. Glow-in-the-dark disks.
Sunday,
August 30, 2009
00:00
00:00âNext HouseâCelebrate the beginning of your time at MIT with some high-flying MIT superhero action. (Iron Man!) Snacks will be provided.
00:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus. Come try to find something that Josh wonât smoke. Including rats.
01:00
01:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus. The November rule is more of a guideline.
01:11âEAsT camPUSâYouâve seen porn, youâve heard auto-tune. But have you seen auto-erotica-tune? you can at East Campus.
02:00
02:00âEAsT camPUSâIts fucking hot jesus titty fucking christ. It might be time for SHIRTLESS O CLOCK BITCHZ!
02:00âBurton ConnerâHarry Potter Movie Marathon -- We know you were sad when that Hogwarts letter never came (so were we). Come chill with us muggles and take in the magic on the screen. [tv lounge]
03:00
03:00âEAsT camPUSâThereâs a note from Vlad in your mailbox. What could it possibly be? Maybe a tasty treat? Come find out at East Cumpus.
03:00âEAsT camPUSâWanna ride a woodie?
03:17âRandom HallâRHOP (Random House of Pancakes): The question is...is it really early or really late? All we know is that we have pancakes for you.
05:00
05:00âEAsT camPUSâWOo naked Vinayak party. His only article of clothing is a K-bar.
05:12âEAsT camPUSâWhy does Hopp HURRR? BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU.
06:00
06:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus. Would you do us for a scooby snack? No? Two? How about a Klondyke bar?
07:00
07:00âEAsT camPUSâWe got a bunch of disgusting food. Why do we have to organize this around Jamesâ social life?
08:00
08:00âEAsT camPUSâAmy was gone the entire summer and is almost as bad as the assfuck twins. Come give her some wood at East Campus
09:00
09:00âNext HouseâStart your day with some freshly made waffles and other breakfast items in the Next House dining before another fun filled day of REX.
09:00âEAsT camPUSâSex is good, drugs are bad, condoms are free, have sex with me! (Only at East Campus)
09:00âSenior HausâWalk of Shame @ Frat/Sorority. Enjoy your walk. Donât poop in the shower.
09:17âRandom HallâMORE BREAKFAST THAN YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR!: Consume the OM NOM NOMLETTE! And devour OVER 9000 PANCAKES!!!
10:00
10:00âBurton ConnerâWaffle Breakfast -- Come enjoy our waffles (Belgium not included). [porter room]
10:00âSenior HausâEver Heard of the Donkey Punch? @ Proper Hardcore. Iâm hardcore.
10:00âSenior HausâBACON BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON! @ Senior Haus Lobby. BACON? BACON, BACON BACON! BACON. (BACON BACON.) Also: coffee. Again.
11:00
11:00âEAsT camPUSâIf he seems into you, its probably because he wants to fuck your roommate. In East Campus.
11:00âNew HouseâSpades Tournament. Know how to play or want to learn? Come and chill with New House 2 while playing a classic card game.
11:00âMacGregorâMacgregor Barbecue - College is mainly a chance for you to stretch out your mind and do lots of business. Our barbecue is a chance to expand your stomach! Come socialize with Macgregorâs residents to find out how food is obtained.
12:00
12:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus East Campus East Campus. Andrew doesnât like it when you cry. Try to enjoy the sex. Yes we lack originality.
12:00âSimmons HallâSimmons Housemastersâ Brunch - You donât want to miss the best brunch on campus, presented by the Housemasters of Simmons Hall. As soon as the Presidentâs convocation ends, stop by for pancakes, french toast, the famous Essigmann fruit smoothie, and much more!
12:30âNext HouseâCome enjoy a classic BBQ on a summer day in the Next House Courtyard. Burgers, hotdogs, Popsicles, you name it! While youâre here, meet our wonderful houseteam! Come find out what itâs like living at the furthest end of Dorm Row. Ask some questions, and weâll get ya answers.
13:00
13:00âEAsT camPUSâFirst one to sexually satisfy a Rush Chair is guaranteed a single! Only at East Campus!
13:00âNew HouseâLightning Chess. Put your mind to the test in the ultimate challenge of logic and quick-thinking. Face off against your fellow freshmen in the New House 5 lounge.
13:00âEAsT camPUSâHovercraft: If you donât want to ride, you are probably a communist.
13:00âSenior HausâHAUS TOURS! @ Senior Haus Lobby. Tours all day, but especially now that weâre awake and full of bacon. Learn about Haus history, see our murals, pet our cats, meet our freaks. Tours leave every five minutes.
13:47âRandom HallâHair dyeing: Your hair is not blue/pink/green enough! Come fix it!
14:00
14:00âNext HouseâLet Nexties show you around our dorm! Catch a glimpse of our impressive facilities and comfy lounges, and learn what makes residents of Next House bond like family!
14:00âEAsT camPUSâJosh is really a werewolf. He gets it from his grandmother. Come get bitten by him at East Campus.
14:00âBurton ConnerâFood Fight -- Have you ever been sitting in the cafeteria, looking at your sad tray lunch, and wished you could just fling it across the room and start an epic movie-quality food fight? This is your chance! [conner-side bbq pits]
14:00âNew HouseâTrip Down Memory Lane with Water Fun! + Tours (2 PM â 4 PM): Itâs like every childhood summer vacation, family trip to the carnival, and extended recess period shrunk down and thrown right back at you. Lemonade, popsicles, and a dunk tank are all here.
14:00âEAsT camPUSâLeft breast freshman! come play 3D twister at East Campus.
14:00âBaker HouseâTours of Baker:Come check out the architectural masterpiece known as Baker House! Tour groups leave every 30 minutes on the hour and half hour. There will be snacks in the lobby, so drop by, grab a bite to eat, and chat with some upperclassmen about life at MIT.(Baker house
14:00âSimmons HallâNewbury Exploration - Join us for a walk down Bostonâs most exciting street. There will be plenty of shopping, people watching, and J.P. Licks ice cream for all! (Meet in front of Simmons)
14:00âSenior HausâUncle Pevner Takes the Kids to the Garment District. Warning: Color and size of host may vary from that advertised.
14:00âMacGregorâMacgregor Tours - Come to MacGregor and let a resident take you around and show you all the greatness that is MacGregor. Youâll see MacGregor isnât just about singles, itâs about people having a grand old time, in lounges, hallways, and bathrooms. Come find out how!
14:15âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus, an indictment is not a conviction
14:17âRandom HallâMaking an Edible World: In preparation for the Edible Katamari Damacy event later today (at 19:17) come help us build a giant world of candy and sugar! Then, stick around to destroy and eat it later.
15:00
15:00âNext HouseâItâs the perfect time for ice cream. Come make your own sundae, choosing from a variety of flavors and toppings!
15:00âAshdown HouseâDorm Tours: A tour guide will be waiting for you at the Student Center (with a big sign that says NW35) to take you to NW35, the newest dorm.
15:00âEAsT camPUSâEvaporative cooling engine: Come watch water dry!
15:00âEAsT camPUSâIs your hair still not colored? Lame. We can fix that.
15:00âEAsT camPUSâItâs silly to walk to the Student Center, ride the CATBUS instead!
15:00âEAsT camPUSâEE seminar: Get an introduction to 6-1 EC style by building your own electronic gadget.
15:00âSenior HausâCome Play With Our State-of-the-Art Robot! @ Senior Haus Lobby. We bet youâve never seen a robot this cool. It can learn speech, and hold a conversation. It has a face and everything!
15:17âRandom HallâLiquid Nitrogen Ice Cream: Even at 77 Kelvins, itâs the hottest thing around.
15:30âBurton ConnerâTours of BC -- Let us show you our turf! [meet at desk]
16:00
16:00âEAsT camPUSâCum to East Campus. Hopp will throw you a lemon party. And you know you canât have a lemon party without old dick.
16:00âDas Deutsche Hausâplay some board games with the members of German House and your fellow frosh, we guarantee you wonât be âboredâ
16:00âLa Maison FrançaiseâHelp with cooking: Use les couteaux, les forchettes et an egg separator.
16:00âSenior HausâAlice in Wonderland Tea Party @ Senior Haus Courtyard. Itâs Tea Time! Formal attire encouraged.
16:00âMacGregorâVermonster Challenge - The MacGregor Barbecue hopefully gave your stomach a big work out. Now finish off pillaging your body by decimating your pancreas! Weâll be serving up mounds of ice cream topped with whipped cream, hot fudge, sprinkles, candy, and more.
16:17âRandom HallâTie-dyeing: That shirt of yours? Itâs so last week. Why are you wearing something that lacks color? Come rainbow up your wardrobe with a bit of tie-dye. Peace.
16:30âSimmons HallâSimmons Housemastersâ Parent Reception - Parents of new MIT freshmen are invited to meet with the housemasters of Simmons Hall. Refreshments will be provided!
17:00
17:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus. You can only break the September rule with James.
17:00âEAsT camPUSâAttention parents: your daughter will ride Jamesâ wood.
17:00âEAsT camPUSâMerry Go Round: Come ride 20 chicks at the same time while riding 20 Chicks at the Same Time.
17:17âRandom HallâStorytime with Cruft: cruft, n.- code, data, or software of poor quality. Also: fluff, detritus and MIT alumni. Come learn of ye oldenn tymes from the ancient ones.
17:30âDas Deutsche HausâTaste of New House
17:30âNew HouseâTaste of NH + Tours (5:30 PM â 7:30 PM): The famous Taste of New House returns with just as much entertainment and food, and a lot more fun. Come experience all of the various communities of New House and get a taste of them too.
18:00
18:00âEAsT camPUSâMoellerâs leg turns him on. Come pull Moellerâs third leg at East Campus, because he IS a tripod.
18:15âLa Maison FrançaiseâDinner: Come manger a homemade French repas!
18:47âRandom HallâRoofdeck BBQ: Steak tips, Kabobs, Sausage, and Vegetarians.
18:49âRandom HallâRoofdeck BBQ Part II: Vegetarian Invasion: PORTOBELLO POWER!!!!1!!11
19:00
19:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus. Our assfuck twins go to eleven! We swear weâll finish the rollercoaster this year. Fuck!
19:00âEAsT camPUSâDance puppet, dance.
19:00âMacGregorâRoot Beer Pong - We respect the law and the Cambridge police, so we wonât actually be giving you beer. This is a âvirginâ event to make sure youâre prepped for your 21st birthday.
19:17âRandom HallâEdible Katamari Damacy: Bent on world domination? Like chocolate? Come use chocolate to roll up, destroy, and then DEVOUR THE WORLD!
19:30âDas Deutsche HausâKick back, relax, and watch a movie with DH
19:47âRandom HallâPants pants revolution: Itâs like DDR, but with more pants. Every time you win a game, you put on another pair of pants. How many pants can a human being possibly wear? Only science will tell.
20:00
20:00âDormitory CouncilâCome to the East Side Pleasuredome, where hundreds will enter and none will leave. Giant wooden roller coasters, sweet rave parties, and exotic substances to wrestle in will be provided. Come learn how to party hard. Location: East Campus Courtyard.
20:00âNext HouseâThink you have a good poker face? Want to join MITâs Blackjack Team? Join us for a night of tournament-style poker, blackjack, and other card games, accompanied with non-alcoholic cocktails and hors dâouvres. And if thatâs not enough, thereâll also be prizes for the winn
20:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus. Come drink our non alcoholic beverages.
20:00âNew HouseâStarCraft Tournament. StarCraft is one of our favorite pastimes in New House 5, and weâre setting up a special session just for REX. Join one of our teams, enjoy the free food, and fight your way to victory. Adun Toridas!
20:00âNew HouseâMake Your Own Gingerbread House (8 PM â 10 PM): There really arenât many things more amusing than making houses you can eat- and at New House, you can use gingerbread and a variety of toppings to construct your house of edibility.
20:00âEAsT camPUSâCome reward your taste buds and punish your bowels at dinner on 41w. What have your bowels ever done for you anyways?
20:00âSimmons HallâParty Room Game Night - Come to the Simmons party room for all of your favorite board games and video games! Itâs every gamerâs dream... We have 1080p High Def and tons of snacks.
20:00âAshdown HouseâOld Time Movies Night: Have you seen too many modern movies? Or do you just want to relive the times that you probably (hopefully) didnât live through the first time? Come kick back and enjoy one of our favorites from some decade before the â80s.
20:00âSenior HausâBouncy Ball Drop @ Senior Haus Courtyard. THOUSANDS OF BOUNCY BALLS WILL RAIN FROM THE HEAVENS, CAUGHT IN THE MAJESTY OF FLUTTERING STROBE LIGHTS. NOW WITH TWICE THE BALLS. It only happens tonight, my friends. Not to be missed.
20:15âSenior HausâCONCERT IN THE BASEMENT! @ Senior Haus Basement. Come see NSFH, our resident Proper Hardcore band. Rock out. Be offended.
20:47âRandom HallâTea and Math Redux: Come enjoy an evening of abstractions and hot tea and chocolate!
21:00
21:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus. Weâve been to every single alcohol and sex talk, but only to hand out root beer and condoms.
21:00âLa Maison FrançaiseâFrench Films: Films de parkour, de la viande et des chansons.
22:00
22:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus. Sex! Advertising! Buy Things! Sex! Lick Things! Sex! Suck Things! Sex! Ride the rollercoaster! Sex! East Campus!
22:00âEAsT camPUSâOh youâve seen 8 bit penises before? Well have you seen them on an 80 monitor CRT wall? Didnât think so.
22:00âEAsT camPUSâWeâve got blinky lights, and theyâre for you. Come blanket yourself in LEDs.
22:00âEAsT camPUSâCome wrestle in our balls. Thatâs not even a euphemism, we bought balls.
22:00âMacGregorâParty!!! - Come end the night of studying by letting loose and dancing your troubles away. Weâll have a lot of loud music and cool people. And if you canât dance? Just stand still and nod your head. At MIT, thatâs good enough!
22:00âNew HouseâDesmond Movie Night 3/5 (10 PM): Tonight, Al Pacino stars in âRighteous Killâ. Join us in the New House 5 lounge!
23:00
23:00âEAsT camPUSâSarah will never love you. But she WILL give you some sweet sweet lovin.
23:30âNew HouseâLate Night Ice Cream/Sundaes (11:30 PM â 1:00 AM): You werenât actually thinking of going to sleep, were you? Of course not- so join us as we promote sleeplessness and sugar intake by making ice cream sundaes.
Monday,
August 31, 2009
00:00
00:00âSenior HausâMOVIE NIGHT WITH ROB! @ Senior Haus Basement. Meet Rob, one of our favorite people, and resident movie expert, and watch movies all night. Basically, this will go on until either the TV burns out, or everyone leaves. Movies will focus on playing games with your mind. Be p
00:17âRandom HallâJuggling in enclosed spaces: Random Hall has thin, claustrophobia-inducing hallways. Come juggle things in them! We know ball, diabolo, contact, poi and devil sticks. Come juggle (weâre happy to teach people!) and weâll try to involve stairs in this bad idea somehow.
01:00
01:00âEAsT camPUSâYouâve had two chicks at the same time. Come try DVDA at East Campus
02:00
02:17âRandom HallâSleepers Anonymous: Sleep is an addiction. The first step towards recovery is admitting you have a problem. Sleepers Anonymous is a support group formed to help people like you overcome this addiction. Come, and we will fight this affliction together.
03:00
03:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus. Its been continuously lived in since before your mom was born.
03:00âBurton ConnerâRave! -- We know you like loud dance music, black lights, and glow sticks. Donât even try to resist. [tv lounge]
04:00
04:00âEAsT camPUSâWeâre still building? Why are we still building. FML
04:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus. Your momâs teeth are the whitest weâve ever come across...
05:00
05:00âEAsT camPUSâDonât stick any plastic bubbles to the cat. At East Campus, we stick our plastic bubbles on you. With cum.
06:00
06:00âEAsT camPUSâI HAVE HAD IT WITH THIS MOTHERFUCKING 4CHAN IN THIS MOTHERFUCKING DAILYCONFUSION, oh wait thatâs our fault. COCKSOCKET!
07:00
07:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus. We love you tonight, but we wonât love you tomorrow morning.
08:00
08:00âNext HouseâHave ASEs? Or perhaps just ready for a new day? Come grab some breakfast your way out.
08:00âEAsT camPUSâWatch Grace write out of her ass just for you. She doesnât even live here anymore. The elephants may come charging out of the walls. Or out of her ass.
08:00âAshdown HouseâBreakfast: Come hang out with the Phoenix Group and enjoy some breakfast while youâre at it!
09:00
09:00âEAsT camPUSâPeter is happy to be in you. Are YOU happy to be in Peter? Offer sexual favors at East Campus.
09:00âBurton ConnerâBreakfast -- They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day...we just say it gives you an excuse to eat sugary things and watch cartoons. [tv lounge]
09:00âNew HouseâBreakfast (9 AM - 11 AM): Itâs the most important meal of the day, or at least thatâs what all those course 7 (Biology) majors say. So be sure to drop by New House before you charge out to tackle yet another day of events.
09:00âBaker HouseâBreakfast at Baker: Early to bed, early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy and wise! So come on down to grab a bite of breakfast before another big day begins! (Baker House Dining Hall)
09:17âRandom HallâCrepes!: Flatter than a pancake, it goes well with whipped cream, nutella, fruit, chocolate sauce, and more. Thereâs nothing savory about these crepes.
10:00
10:00âBurton ConnerâCooking 101 -- Here in BC, we have kitchens and we know how to use âem. And we want to teach you! [burton 5]
10:00âNew HouseâQuiet Reading and Conversation (10 AM): Need a break from all the craziness of REX? Bring your favorite book or magazine to the lounge at New House 5 and join fellow literature-lovers for a moment of peace, quiet and discussion.
10:00âAshdown HouseâDorm Tours: A tour guide will be waiting for you at the Student Center (with a big sign that says NW35) to take you to NW35, the newest dorm.
10:17âRandom HallâBoffer Construction: Forge something eternal. Forge something undying. Forge something legendary. Forge something that will be spoken of in years to come as the blade of a true warrior. Forge a weapon...out of foam.
11:00
11:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus. We are lumberjacks, and we can screw the shit our of wood for eternity.
11:00âDas Deutsche HausâBreakfast is the most important meal of the day!
11:00âDas Deutsche HausâDH Tours
11:00âSimmons HallâFenway Park Tour - First on the list of must-see places in Boston? Fenway Park! Join us for a tour of the Red Sox home field, and fall in love with the Green Monster, the Pesky Pole, and the scoreboard they still update by hand. (Meet in front of Simmons)
11:00âNew HouseâSettlers Tournament. Ready to challenge your luck? Settlers depends on skill, cunning but most of all luck. Come discover New House 2âs favorite board game.
11:00âSenior HausâBlack Bitch, White Bitch @ Senior Haus. Wanna learn how to make breakfast? Find out with two of our best cooks and EAT FOR FREE.
11:00âSenior HausâSPAM ALL THE DORM LISTS @ Senior Haus. Be the first of your class to troll old alums!
11:00âMacGregorâMacgregor Brunch - Come and enjoy Macgregorâs favorite social event: eggs, bacon, sausage, and pancakes delivered directly from IHOP.
11:17âRandom HallâThe Improvised Furniture Experience: Experience and develop the latest in 2x4 technology in a challenge to construct a couch-like device from a bizarre assortment of road signs and automobile components. Behold, the power of Furniture made from Stuff We Found On the Street.
12:00
12:00âEAsT camPUSâFuck Jelly Beans in a Jar. Come guess Sarahâs cupsize. Only at East Campus. I guess you could fuck some Jelly Beans if youâre into that.
12:17âRandom HallâCHEESE: Swiss Cheddar Brie Cottage Parmigiano Reggiano Gouda Chevre Camembert Provolone Ricotta Colby Jack Pepper Jack Monterey Jack Mozzarella Muenster Blue Havarti Limburger Feta.
13:00
13:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus. Increase your Boobage!
13:00âLa Maison FrançaiseâBoardgames: Scrabble, Catan, Set. Vous savez que vous voulez les jouer.
13:17âRandom HallâToilet Paper Dodgeball: Donât forget to dodge, duck, dive, dip, and dodge the toilet paper!
13:30âNew HouseâInflatable Tug-of-War + Field Day (1:30 PM â 3:30 PM): Remember Field Day- the day at the end of the elementary school year where you were let loose on the field to have fun with sports? Well the memories are coming back, so join us on Briggs field.
14:00
14:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus is balls hot. Discuss.
14:00âSenior HausâT-Shirt Destruction/Silk Screening @ Senior Haus Lobby. Forget tie-dying, forget bleach. Tear your shirt up (fashionably), and/or silk screen whatever you want on it. If you donât have stencils from before, make some now! YOU can be the fashion elite at MIT!
14:00âMacGregorâMacgregor Tours - Come to MacGregor and let a resident take you around and show you all the greatness that is MacGregor. Youâll see MacGregor isnât just about singles, itâs about people having a grand old time, in lounges, hallways, and bathrooms. Come find out how!
14:17âRandom HallâD&D One-Shots, Edition 4: Lord Milneâs favorite vase has been stolen - come help reclaim it from a dungeon filled with monsters, puzzles and traps!
15:00
15:00âNext HouseâThink you have the reflexes of a ninja? Or maybe you need to release some pent up energy? Join us for a fun, riveting game of dodgeball!
15:00âDas Deutsche HausâShopping, because everyone loves to buy food.
15:00âAshdown HouseâOlympics at Kresge Oval: Demonstrate your physical prowess and you may or may not be rewarded with a medal.
15:00âSenior HausâHAUS TOURS @ Senior Haus Lobby. Tours all day, but now, especially. Come see where we live, blah blah blah. You know the drill.
15:17âRandom HallâBubblewrap Room: Itâs your childhood dream come true: weâve covered an entire room with bubblewrap. Come bounce off the walls!
15:47âRandom HallâLiquid Nitrogen Icecream: Colder and more uncaring than the spirit of the Chem ASE.
16:00
16:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus. Come wrestle in our sticky bubble tea balls! Or have our sticky balls wrestle in you.
16:00âBurton ConnerâIntro to Athena -- Have no idea what a terminal even is? Let us give you some quick and easy Athena pointers. [tv lounge]
16:00âNew HouseâNH Presentation + Tours of Boston (4 PM â 6 PM): Chances are, wherever you live, youâre sure to do things in Boston, so why not take a New House sponsored tour and get acclimated with the city? Also, come learn more about our fantastic dorm in general.
16:00âLa Maison FrançaiseâHelp with cooking: Use les couteaux, les forchettes et an egg separator.
16:00âSenior HausâREAL BARBECUE WITH A REAL TEXAN @ Senior Haus Courtyard. Real meat, none of this pansy hot dogs and hamburger bovine fecal matter. TEAR IT APART WITH YOUR TEETH, SAVOR THE HOT FLESH. THE TASTE OF BLOOD, IT STICKS IN THE TEETH. Also, veggie stuff for those of you who need
16:17âRandom HallâRoofdeck Boffing: Urban Dictionary has two definitions of âboffingâ. Guess which one weâll be doing.
17:00
17:00âEAsT camPUSâWe made a giant bean bag. Why arenât you in it.
17:00âSenior HausâPlay with our Sperm @ Senior Haus Lobby. Come play with our sperm! Itâs huge, and completely biologically safe.
17:17âRandom HallâMake Chainmail!: Are you ever woken up at night by swordsmen breaking down your door? Well, youâll be able to sleep easy after this event; come learn to make armor worthy of the thirteenth century!
18:00
18:00âNext HouseâLike the rest of MIT, Next House has an extremely diverse community. And what better way to show it off than with some good food? Join us in eating some of the best food from a wide variety of Boston restaurants.
18:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus. Steaming excessively and why the fuck is the water war on Saturday at 5:00 pm?
18:00âBurton ConnerâComfort Food Dinner -- Itâs been a long day. Come relax at BC with some good olâ fashioned comfort food. [porter]
18:00âNew HouseâNew House 5 Brawl Tournament (6-8 PM): Get your Brawl on! Come to New House 5 (Desmond) to show off your skills in the greatest fighting game of all time. The best part? First place wins a $50 gift certificate to the CambridgeSide Galleria. Food will be provided!
18:00âSimmons HallâRooftop BBQ - Enjoy a summer evening of food, music, and fun on the rooftop terraces at Simmons Hall. You wonât want to miss our gorgeous view of the nighttime Boston skyline!
18:00âEAsT camPUSâpenis penis penis penis penis penis penis goose motherfucker.
18:00âSenior HausâAlternative Sex Seminar @ Senior Haus Lobby. Curious about being gay at MIT? Wanna know the best way to tie someone to an Institute bed? Wanna know where to buy latex clothing in Cambridge and Boston? Solid advice direct to you from our resident perverts. I mean, experts
18:00âMacGregorâFlying Pizza! Not really, actually itâs just regular pizza with wings. Itâs all you can eat though. Weâll have many different toppings for the pizza and several flavors of wings to choose from.
18:15âLa Maison FrançaiseâDinner: Come manger a homemade French repas!
18:17âRandom HallâPhilosophical Wankfest: Where does the world come from? What is consciousness? Does the fact that these questions sound unanswerable make you more willing to argue them? Come celebrate the hallowed MIT tradition of âwankingâ (pointlessly debating a subject at length!
18:47âRandom HallâHeart Attack Food: Leave your guilt and nutrition guides at home, and come commit a slow delicious suicide on the fourth floor of Random Hall as we home-fry everything from chicken to onions to Oreos!
19:00
19:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus. We have the assfuck triplets.
19:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus. Neither rain nor snow nor Dormcon will keep EC from its duties.
19:00âDas Deutsche HausâDinner: Weâre cooking something delicious, we just donât know what it is yet!
19:00âEAsT camPUSâWeâre only being nice to you because the Institvte says we have to.
19:00âEAsT camPUSâWe live in the internet. Even our waterfalls are digital.
19:00âSenior HausâMake Your Own Sex Toys @ Senior Haus Lobby. Using household items! Go solo â because November is so far away â without shelling out massive bank for a masturbation sleeve or vibrator. Boys, girls, and everyone in between invited.
19:00âMacGregorâGame Night - This is a nice and friendly event thatâs really about just meeting people. Weâll have several HDTVâs going on and even a projector. There will be Rockband, Halo, Wii Sports, pool, foosball, and many more!
19:05âSenior HausâThe CCC Will Make All Men Obsolete @ Senior Haus.
19:17âRandom HallâDuct Tape Construction: What can you use to close an open wound? Duct tape! Whatâs great when your shoe starts falling apart? Duct tape! What comes in many colors and can be used to create something entirely new? Duct tape!
19:47âRandom HallâLN2 Icecream: Jötunheimr cowers.
20:00
20:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus. A breeze blew in and we azizzed in our pants.
20:00âNew HouseâMassages + Smoothies (New House 6 Lounge) (8 PM â 9 PM): Just view it as our rough approximation of a luxury spa- experience a deep, soothing massage, and enjoy cool, refreshing smoothies before classes officially start. Relaxation has seldom been so easy and accessible.
20:00âEAsT camPUSâYou like the cute animals? We like to serve them to you with a side of fries. Come to diner on 4th West for a bittersweet reunion with Wilbur.
20:00âSenior HausâCoffee + Political Discussion @ Senior Haus Lobby. We like coffee. We like politics. Come get some of both. Discussion mainly a debate between our resident clinically insane Marxist, and a secret, not-yet-disclosed person of a different political party. All parties welcome.
20:17âRandom HallâHair Dyeing: Green? PURPLE!
20:17âRandom HallâCake or Death: One of the great questions of the modern age.
20:30âRandom HallâThe Thinking with Portals Party: Random Hall promises to always provide an awesome party environment. In party environments, we promise to always provide useful advice. For instance, the floor here has cake. (the cake is not a lie thecakeisnotaliethecakeisNOTALIE)
20:47âRandom HallâPillow Fight: We have pillows. You have violent urges. Use the former to satisfy the latter.
21:00
21:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus. We donât discriminate. We hate everyone equally. We wish we could hate you to death. Come participate in 2 minutes of hate at East Campus.
21:00âNew HouseâFoosball, Ping-Pong and Pool! (9-11 PM): These games are as much a part of your college experience as Calculus, so come practice and play in New House 5âs recently refurnished rec room.
21:00âSenior HausâDen of Iniquities @ Youtube. Http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfPjbsdksC0
21:17âRandom HallâGuilty Pleasures: Come indulge in furious mastication.
21:47âRandom HallâGluck: (Speed + Solitaire) x 4 = Gluck! Come learn this fast-paced, four-deck card game and then use it against Random Hallâs Gluck masters.
22:00
22:00âNext HouseâWrap up your night with some video-gaming fun - weâll have Rock Band, Brawl, DDR, and Karaoke! Or, if youâre old school, weâll have board games and cards as well. Weâll also have snacks to satisfy those midnight munchies.
22:00âEAsT camPUSâHave you fucked inside McCormick? East Campus has. McCormick hasnât.
22:00âSenior HausâBACON BACON BACON BACON BACON @ Senior Haus 1st Floor Kitchen. BACON? BACON, BACON BACON! BACON. (BACON BACON.) Also: coffee. Again. Again.
22:00âSenior HausâSâMORES & STORIES @ Senior Haus Courtyard. Make sâmores, and revel in awesome stories of Senior Haus past.
22:00âLa CasaâCombo Latino: a cultural gathering featuring music from across latin america
22:00âNew HouseâDesmond Movie Night 4/5 (10 PM): Come to the New House 5 lounge to watch Mel Brooksâ epic comedy, âSpaceBallsâ. And may the Schwartz be with you.
22:00âBaker HouseâBaker House Presents SKYLINE, featuring the Ladies of McCormick: Come dive into orientation with the hottest party of the night at the most social dorm on campus! Featuring a dance floor, live DJs spinning todayâs hottest beats, and refreshments! (Location Baker House (W7))
22:17âRandom HallâSweet Rave party: Strobes Real Popular. Super Rad Powwow. Shake Rattle Pop.... Sweet Rave Party.
22:47âRandom HallâBad Science Movie Marathon: There will be screaming. But not because the movies are scary.
23:00
23:00âEAsT camPUSâEast Campus. Just sayin.
23:00âNew HouseâLate Night Waffles + Movie Marathon (NH 6 Lounge) (11 PM â 5 AM): Weâre upending the traditional food schedule, and serving waffles late at night. We are also planning to watch movies until the sun rises while weâre all passed out on couches still in our day clothes.
23:00âEAsT camPUSâSarah is a delicate flower. Come deflower Sarah at East Campus. Snowflakes!
Tuesday,
September 1, 2009
00:00
00:00âSimmons HallâMidnight Ball Pit Wars - Admit it, itâs the first thing you thought of when you heard that Simmons has its own McDâs-style ball pit. Build forts and stockpile weapons as you conquer enemy territory, or just toss balls at your friends to distract them from empire-building.
01:00
01:00âBurton ConnerâMidnight Capture the Flag -- Glow sticks included. [turf]
03:00
03:17âRandom HallâRHOP: Random House of Pancakes: Iâm a delicious warm pancake smothered in maple syrup. Bite me.
08:00
08:00âNext HouseâYes, even more breakfast is on the way! Be sure to get your tummyâs worth on the last day of REX.
08:00âAshdown HouseâBreakfast: Come hang out with the Phoenix Group and enjoy some breakfast while youâre at it!
09:00
09:00âBaker HouseâBreakfast at Baker: Re-energize yourself with a great breakfast at Baker House, and prepare yourself for another day of orientation. (Baker House Dining Hall)
10:00
10:00âNext HouseâRelease the kid in you, through flying kites and blowing bubbles of all shapes and sizes. Come relax and have some fun in the sun!
10:00âDas Deutsche HausâDH Tours and snacks
10:00âBurton ConnerâBreakfast -- You gotta eat! [tv lounge]
10:00âNew HouseâMorning Fiesta/Siesta (10 AM â 12 PM): New House is a very diverse community, and with that comes the advantage and ability to have fiestas (and siestas) whenever we want to. Join us for this one- nachos, salsa, and piñatas all around!
10:00âAshdown HouseâDorm Tours: A tour guide will be waiting for you at the Student Center (with a big sign that says NW35) to take you to NW35, the newest dorm.
10:17âRandom HallâMake your own donuts: Who needs Dunkinâ Donuts anyway? Come to Random Hall and make your own custom fried models of our dorm! (No plastic spatulas allowed.)
11:00
11:00âSimmons HallâBaking and Chick Flicks - Spend some time in Simmonsâ country kitchen with Sarah and Christina. Then sit down and enjoy with a girly movie in the Night Cafe.
11:17âRandom HallâSock-Puppet Literary Classics: What happens when you take sock puppets, literary classics, and a fifteen minute time cap? Hilarity. Come witness your (least?) favorite characters from high school English subjected to our whims.
12:00
12:00âSenior HausâBACON BACON BACON BACON BACON @ Senior Haus 1st Floor Kitchen. BACON? BACON, BACON BACON! BACON. (BACON BACON.) Also: coffee. Again. Again. Again.
12:17âRandom HallâOn the construction of dumplings: For ages, engineers have puzzled over the construction of dumplings. What is the ideall ratio of filling to skin? What is the proper catamorphism that will result in maximum structural integrity? Come make dumplings. Then eat them.
13:00
13:00âDas Deutsche HausâA German Movie, because everyone knows how to speak German (English subtitles included).
13:00âNew HouseâOrigami (1-2 PM): Whether youâre a longtime fan of the art or just a newcomer, join us in the New House 5 lounge for an hour of origami, the Japanese art of paper-folding.
13:00âNew HouseâYour favorite event from Saturday is back! Too many events going on all at once got you stressed out? Come relax and watch some TV with New House 2. Choose from a selection of shows including The Boondocks, House, The Office, True blood, Arrested Development and The Wire.
13:17âRandom HallâScavenger Hunt: Bring a camera, team up, explore MIT, and embark on a journey to discover your True Self while collecting random junk along the way. Prizes for the winning team included!
13:47âRandom HallâAwesome Anime Music Videos: AMVs, much like the internet, are 95% dross and 5% awesome. Weâve got that 5% triple distilled into its purest form. Come enjoy.
14:00
14:00âBurton ConnerâSports and Summer Fun -- Youâre never too old for pick-me-up sports and a slip-n-slide on a hot summer day! [burton-side bbq pits]
14:00âSenior HausâLEARN TO TIRE SWING @ Senior Haus Courtyard. Our experts will show you how itâs done. Donât worry, no one dies.
14:17âRandom HallâCookies and Smut: Listen to the finest Viking romance novels and eat delicious warm chocolate chip cookies. Feel the horriblehorriblehorrible sensation of rivulets of chocolate dripping down your throat and learn about Odinâs magnificent sword!
14:47âRandom HallâHow to Conquer the World and Rule it Thereafter: Q.E.D.
15:00
15:00âBaker Houseâ Tours of Baker: Another chance to check out Baker House before REX is over. Tour groups leave every 30 minutes on the hour and half hour. There will be snacks in the lobby, so drop by, grab a bite to eat, and chat with some upperclassmen about life at MIT.(Baker House Lobby)
15:17âRandom HallâWikiraces: Quick! How many moves does it take to get from Vampire Watermelons to Godwinâs Law?
15:47âRandom HallâPretentious Music Wanking: Side effects may include life-changing spiritual experiences. Bach action figure included.
15:59âEAsT camPUSâHURRY UP AND ENTER THE HOUSING LOTTERY ALREADY SO WE DONâT HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU WHINE LATER
16:00
16:00âLa CasaâCarne Asada cookout. Come enjoy a mexican style bbq with tortillas, rice and beans.
16:17âRandom HallâLiquid Nitrogen Ice Cream: Donât try this at Harvard.
17:00
17:00âNew HouseâRock Band! (5-7 PM): One of the first things youâll learn here at MIT is that âRock Band + Free Food = Awesomeâ. Come enjoy the awesome at New House 5, and play âtil your fingers bleed!
18:00
18:30âDormitory CouncilâHousing Lottery Closes - Make sure you fill out your form before the lottery closes!
20:00
20:00âNew HouseâNew House 5 Poker Night (8-10 PM): Join us in the New House 5 lounge for a friendly game of Texas Hold âEm. No money necessary! Chips (of both the poker and nacho variety) and salsa will be provided.
21:00
21:00âNew HouseâBreakfast, College-Style (9-10 AM): Come to New House 5 to enjoy our wide selection of cold cereals. Fill up a bowl with your childhood favorite, create a bold new blend of fruity and chocolaty, or just hang out in our lounge and argue over which mascot is the best.
22:00
22:00âNew HouseâDesmond Movie Night 5/5 (10 PM): Our REX movie series concludes with âGoodfellasâ. Come watch it with us in the New House 5 lounge!
22:30âBaker HouseâIce Cream Party: Just getting out of the event at the Student Center and going back to your dorm? Grab some ice cream at Baker House before you head back.( Baker House Dining Hall)
Wednesday,
September 2, 2009
09:00
09:00âBaker HouseâGrab breakfast at Baker House before you head out into the final day of REX. (Baker House Dining Hall)
09:30âBurton ConnerâBreakfast -- Low blood sugar? Come to BC and weâll fix it. [tv lounge]
13:00
13:00âNew HouseâHouse of Cards contest (1-2 PM): Put your engineering skills to the test! You have one hour and one deck of cards to out-build your peers. We promise it will be even more fun than a Course 2 p-set! Meet in the lounge in New House 5.
14:00
14:00âNew HouseâBuild a Playing-Card Launcher (2 PM - ?): Have you ever wanted to be a card-throwing ninja? Do you dream of becoming a top-class engineer? Then come design your own playing-card launcher in the New House 5 lounge!
14:00âMcCormick HallâTie Dye Fun. Let loose the Hippie within and have some psychedelic fun with tie dye.
18:00
18:30âDormitory CouncilâResults of the Adjustment Lottery Available - Check web.mit.edu/housing/lottery to find out your housing assignment. ALL moves into permanent assignments will take place on Thursday, September 3rd.
Thursday,
September 3, 2009
09:00
09:00âDormitory CouncilâResidence Hall Assignment Check Out and Check In - If youâre moving out of your dorm you MUST check out of your old room and into your new room. Vans and transportation will be provided to help you move. More information will be available to you via email the night before.
17:00
17:30âDormitory CouncilâHouse Meeting and Dorm Welcome - If you moved dorms in the lottery, itâs time to get settled. Meet your Housemasters, GRTs and fellow residents. Be prepared for an entertaining evening. The MIT experience is largely about who you live with!